


The Long Way Home

by ohstardustgirl



Series: Rogue 'Verse [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: AU - Everyone lives, Drama, F/M, Fix-it fic, M/M, Mystery, Post-Scarif, Recovery, Romance, Spies, Trust Issues, eventual rebelcaptain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-08 01:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10374435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohstardustgirl/pseuds/ohstardustgirl
Summary: The crew of Rogue One limped home to the Rebellion just in time for the evacuation of the base. But the journey from Yavin is anything but easy, and emotions run high as the survivors figure out where they belong and who they can trust.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rogue One crashes their own wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the first part is familiar, it's because I wrote it as a drabble for a prompt fill but it felt like a good starting point.
> 
> I'm a bit nervous about working on a longer fic but I'm at least one chapter ahead of myself and I know where it's going. 
> 
> I skilfully (!) avoided going into details about how they got off Scarif because better writers than me have already covered that.

The medal ceremony was scheduled to be as brief as it could be, out of necessity. Yavin IV was nearly fully evacuated; the crowd that remained were those who were fighting fit and able to stand. The injured and untrained - the young, the crew that worked behind the scenes to support the cause without a weapon - all had been evacuated already. There was urgent work still to be done once the celebration was finished.

Mon Mothma stood in the front row, and watched the figures on stage. Leia, radiant in white, smiled at her rescuers as she placed medals around their necks. _This is what the Rebellion has come to_ , she thought. This is what it should always have been - ordinary people taking chances and throwing themselves in to the fight, not senators sitting around a table. She grimaced, and thought of the fallen of Scarif. _If only we politicians had been as brave as them. If only we'd had as much hope, if only we'd sent them with our support._

She thought of the skill and sacrifice of Cassian Andor, the fire of Jyn Erso, the bravery of Bodhi Rook, and wonders at the legends they would have become. They were martyrs now, all of them. She dipped her head and closed her eyes in respect, and to hide the tears that were threatening to spill. The celebration was meant to lift the spirits of the survivors but she doesn't ever want to forget those who gave their lives, because if she did then she might yet see the Alliance make the same mistakes again.

Fast footsteps broke her from her thoughts just as the Princess placed a medal around the neck of the rogueish smuggler who saved the day. Glancing back, she saw a young private walk-running up the centre aisle, red-faced as he tried desperately to not notice just how many people were now looking at him.

"Ma'am - ma'am, it's urgent." His whisper was harsh, breathless, and the words were out before he had finished his rushed salute.

"Yes, private, what is it?"

He glanced at those nearest the senator - Draven had his eyes carefully forwards but she knew the spymaster didn't miss a thing - and his voice rose with an excited hitch as he answered.

"It's Rogue One, ma'am. They've landed. They _survived_."

It was just loud enough for those closest to her to hear, and the whispers rippled all the way to the back of the hall like a breeze through trees in seconds. On the platform, Leia turned, eyebrows knitted, at the noise.

Mon Mothma ushered the private away and followed him. She didn't need to turn her head to know that the footsteps behind her were Draven's.

She bit the inside of her cheek to maintain some sort of neutral expression as she walked past the rows of soldiers down the aisle.

"How many?" She asked once they were clear of the ceremony.

"Five, ma'am." Answered the private. His excitement at being somehow involved in all of this bubbled over, his words too were light. "And a droid. They're still in the hangar, under guard. We didn't recognise their ship but their clearance codes checked out with Intelligence."

"Why under guard?" She asked.

"Common sense, surely." Draven answered. "They could be anyone, now that the Empire knows where we are."

The private beamed as if it was all his idea. "Exactly, sir."

And then there they were, five survivors huddled together on the floor of the hangar. Mon Mothma didn't think her heart felt so light even when the Death Star disintegrated into stardust above them. They were battered and broken but alive, surrounded by rebel soldiers who had their blasters raised. Other soldiers were aboard the battered looking unfamiliar Imperial ship, hunting for trackers or bombs.

The Guardians of the Whills leaned against each other, robes torn. Bodhi Rook rested his chin on his knees, eyes darting nervously at the soldiers around them. Cassian Andor sat with his back against a crate, one arm around his ribs, the other behind Jyn Erso, who was tucked into his side. K-2SO was scraped and scored and towered over them all, with its own personal guard.

They were all exhausted, shoulders drooped and eyes dark. Even Cassian, always a good soldier, couldn't bring himself to do anything more than nod when he saw Mothma and Draven. Jyn's eyes were wide, and she looked like a cornered wolf ready to attack in spite of the paleness of her face, the heaviness apparent in her limbs.

"Stand down. Let them be." Said Mothma, as she stepped forward with her arms open in a gesture of peace. The soldiers obeyed, lowering their weapons and stepping away. There was room to breathe, now.

She watched them stand, noting the shining burns on Bodhi's arms, how Baze struggled to stand straight and Chirrut clung to him. How Cassian, who she worried had no room in his heart for anything but war, looked at Jyn with tenderness as she helped him to rise, as she carried his weight.

Mon Mothma smiled. She wanted to hear their story, to find out how they survived Scarif and the Death Star, how they survived a week and found a new ship and stayed alive with their wounds. She wanted everyone to know, and for the entire Alliance - no, the galaxy - to hear that hope existed.

"Welcome home, Rogue One."

 

  
Jyn's hackles refused to settle in the med-bay. She didn't think she would ever relax again, after the past two weeks, not since the Rebellion had plucked her from Wobani. There had been so little time to just _be_ , without thinking of how to get to safety, how to survive, what their next move should be.

Even now, there were still choices and journeys to be made. It was evident from the boxed up cargo in the hangar and the empty halls that her time on Yavin IV would be short.

A battered 2-1B and a male human medic had approached each of them in turn, ranking their injuries. Jyn refused any attention, too exhausted to deal with a stranger touching her and feeling in no more pain than she had been when they had been plucked from Scarif. She would live, and had survived worse. The torn muscles in her shoulders and hip would heal eventually, if only she could rest.

She wanted sleep. She wanted a comfortable bed with pillows and warm blankets and a locked door and no need for a blaster. She wanted to curl up in soft clothes and be warm and safe. These were all things she had had so little of in her life, she could only imagine how they would feel and didn't understand why such foreign things were all she could think about.

Jyn thought she wanted Cassian in that bed too, just to have his heartbeat close to her. She stopped the thought before it could worm it's way into her heart.

She nonetheless stood within reach of where he sat shirtless on the edge of a cot, and eyed the medical droid as it injected him with something. His back was black with bruises still and she knew his ribs ached with every breath. A new red scar marked his side, the permanent reminder of his near death on Scarif. Chirrut was in a cot too, sitting upright with eyes closed, with Baze standing sentry beside him. Chirrut's chest was exposed, showing off his own recently added scars. The Guardians both looked less pale and their backs were a little straighter now that their wounds caused them less pain. The human medic was smearing something pungent and white over Bodhi's burned arms. K-2SO stood outside, having expressed disinterest in seeing further displays of human fragility.

Jyn tried to fight the feeling of being trapped somewhere she didn't belong, but she very much felt like she had in the war room when they had first brought her from Wobani. She jumped when the door opened and Draven and Mon Mothma entered the room. The senator eyed them all in turn, and dismissed the medical staff.

"I'm sorry our medical facilities are so minimal at present," she said, stepping into the room with her hands open towards them. "As you can see, the base has begun evacuation and very few non-essential personnel remain. We expect to be fully evacuated within the next day."

"Because of the Death Star." Said Jyn, jaw tight. "The Empire knows about this place."

The senator nodded. "You heard of the Death Star's destruction, then? Wherever you were?"

"We heard." Baze rumbled without looking at her, arms folded. "What took you so long to do it?"

Jyn could have sworn she heard Cassian bite back a laugh at that.

Mon Mothma replied, all warmth gone, "There were complications."

Baze snorted. Jyn didn't think even she would have mocked Mothma's tone at that moment and she admired Baze all the more for it.

Draven broke the tension. "Captain Andor - debrief me. We'll get to Scarif later, for now tell me where you've been since?"

"Sir. We left Scarif as the Death Star struck, in an Imperial transport. We made an uncalculated jump to lightspeed to escape the blast and emerged at Tattooine. Myself and Chirrut needed urgent medical attention, and would not have survived the journey back to Yavin with internal bleeding."

Jyn's stomach rolled. _She remembered holding his head in her lap, her palm on his chest to feel his heart beat, blood on his lips, and she prayed that he would stay with her as Baze repeated Chirrut's mantra while holding his husband against him. Bodhi had piloted shakily, in agony from his burns, in tears as he shouted back to them for instructions._

"We bartered for medical treatment in a small village on Tattooine."

"Bartered?" Asked Draven. "With what?"

"With blasters," Jyn answered, and Draven looked at her as if he had scraped her from his shoe. "We found a small hospital and threatened them until they helped us. No one was hurt." Jyn held her head up at Draven's sneer. She would have done it all again in a heartbeat, for these people who had come into her life so recently.

_Her arm had shaken with the burning agony from the torn muscles in her shoulder as she held the blaster to the heart of the woman who had opened the door for them. Jyn had begged, and Baze had threatened, and the woman had trembled and called for the medic on duty. The hospital was old and basic - there were no bacta tanks, both Chirrut and Cassian needed surgery to survive. Jyn had intended to hold the blaster at the surgeon, just to make sure nothing happened, but she couldn't bring herself to be in that room when either of the men were cut open, and so Kay had taken over._

"It was in a small desert town far from any of the main ports," said Cassian evenly as he stared down his commanding officer. "They had limited technology and no involvement with the Imperials, or the Rebellion. It was a chance we had to take - that or die."

Draven stared down his nose at Cassian for a moment, then nodded. "Go on."

"We were there for two days. Enough to ensure survival for both of us, at the very least, and from there we took the longest route back to Yavin in case of any tails. I used my access privileges to listen to Alliance radio chatter, and we heard about the destruction of the planet killer. We weren't sure if Yavin would even still be occupied."

_The ship was tiny. Two seats for a pilot and co-pilot, a basic 'fresher and room for four of them to sit in the back. Cramped, and on top of each other with their injuries for four days. Cassian's surgery had stopped the internal bleeding, but his broken ribs and bruises still caused him pain with every movement. Bodhi's burns still plagued him and he clenched and unclenched his fists against the feeling of his skin pulling tight. They had minimal supplies, little water, all they could do was take shifts sitting beside Kay in the pilot's seat to break up the time spent sitting on the floor. Jyn thought of how she had cried in the 'fresher as everything from Wobani onwards caught up with her, the only private place, and how Cassian had pulled her close to him when she returned with red eyes. She thought of how he had been in pain, and how she had wanted nothing more than to take it away, how being held close to him had been the only comfort she had had in so many years._

Draven was quiet for a long moment, looking only at Cassian. "I suppose it wouldn't matter much, given that the Empire knows where we are. There is the matter of your insubordination, Captain."

Jyn watched Cassian stiffen and she stepped closer to him, hip hitting the edge of the cot. "Sir. Myself, and the men who died on Scarif, all of us had given our lives for the cause. I don't know why I lived instead of them but I would have gladly died with them if it meant our mission succeeded. Perhaps if the council had supported the mission better men than me would have survived." There was fire in his voice, like there had been after Eadu.

Jyn chewed her lip, and berated herself for wanting Cassian alive above all the others, even if she couldn't explain why. Draven's face turned red, but it was Mothma who spoke:

"Perhaps we should have, Captain." She crossed her hands in front of her. "It is a decision I will regret for a long time."

"Am I to be punished, then?" Asked Cassian.

Draven's jaw twitched as he glanced at the senator.

"No. Should anyone ask, Rogue One were a sanctioned team sent to Scarif for the sole purpose of retrieving the Death Star plans." Said Mothma. "Of course, we would not tolerate this level of insubordination from a high-ranking officer again. Is that understood, Captain?"

Cassian smirked slightly, and spoke with so little sincerity that Jyn's heart skipped a beat. "Of course, Senator. Whatever the Alliance needs." If Mothma picked up on it she didn't let it show.

"Where do we go next?" Asked Bodhi, voice meek in the heavy atmosphere. He looked so tired, he had had no rest since before Jedha and Jyn's heart swelled looking at him.

"Captain Andor, you'll evacuate with the remaining troops and join the rest of command at the rendezvous point. The rest of you, you're free to take the ship you landed on and leave." Said Draven. Cassian rose from the cot.

"These people risked their lives for those plans, and you would throw them into the cold? After everything they've done?"

"They can't be entrusted with our movements at this time. They're not Alliance."

"We could be." Said Bodhi. "I want to be."

Cassian turned, and he looked at all of them but stopped when he reached Jyn. He held her gaze and she closed her eyes against it. She couldn't stand the hope she saw, the hope that she would stay. She was so tired. She wanted him to hold her close and forget everything, not make decisions about her future. When she looked at him again, her eyes burned and she had to lean her weight against the cot to stay upright. He reached out to her and clutched her arm, a comfort. Maybe he understood, she thought.

"Given the circumstances, General, I think we can consider our guests to be loyal to our cause, and that should be enough for now." Said Mothma, and the steel and volume of her voice gave no room for Draven to argue. "As soon as you're discharged from medical report to hangar 2-A and you'll be assigned a place on the evacuation squad. Captain - even if they are not members of the Alliance, your team is your responsibility for the duration of the evacuation. See to it that they are aware of protocol."

Cassian's jaw tensed and he rolled his shoulders back. "Yes, ma'am."

Mothma gave Draven a look that brooked no argument and made to leave. Before she reached the door, she turned and said, "Thank you, all." Draven, with a last look at his favoured spy, followed her.

The room was silent, Bodhi's heavy sighs the only sound for a few minutes. Cassian leaned against his cot, weight on his hands mirroring Jyn.

"You're all free to go, if you want. I don't know what supplies are left, but if you need weapons or supplies I can get them for you. You can take the ship." He stared down at the bed, the same as her. Her shoulders burned with the exertion of staying upright.

Baze snorted, but it was Chirrut who spoke. "We go where the Force needs us. It does not mean for us to part just yet, Captain."

Bodhi stepped up beside Baze. "I meant what I said. I want to be here. There's more I can do."

The earnestness in his voice made Jyn's heart pull in her chest. When she raised her eyes, Cassian was looking at her, only inches between them. He hid his emotions behind the mask of the spy she had first met, iron in his jaw and dark circles under his eyes the only difference. She didn't want to leave any of them, not yet, and not him. She wouldn't make any promises, but if they left here they would leave together. Jyn nodded, and Cassian's bare shoulders loosened just slightly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The crew settles in on the ship.

  
Cassian's internal bleeding had been healed via surgery on Tatooine, and all the medics on Yavin had been able to give him was bone-knitter to speed the healing of his ribs. He was still in pain, and still exhausted right down to his marrow. He had never been one for 8 solid hours of sleep in one sitting but he would have gladly given everything for a full night of uninterrupted rest, of silence if not sleep. He thought of Jyn, of embracing her on the sands of Scarif and comforting her on the ship to Yavin and indulged in the thought of holding her close in sleep, safe and away from everything. He chased the thought from his mind with a shake of his head. There was no point in thinking about that, when they were tired and broken and when their decisions were still fuelled by the intimacy of surviving.

She was leaving on the same ship. That was enough for now.

In the hangar, K-2SO was helping to load crates on to one of the waiting ships. Two dozen or so soldiers milled around like bees in a hive. The first ships had already left, and the remainder of Rogue One were scheduled to be aboard the repurposed Correllian transport in orbit around the planet within the hour. The droid turned as Cassian approached. He was still scratched and battered from Scarif and Cassian had no doubt he wouldn't hear the end of it.

"I don't see why we can't just leave in the Imperial transport we arrived in." The droid huffed. "It would be much more efficient than the freighter.

"There isn't enough room, Kay." Cassian set down the duffle bag he had filled with what few items he kept in storage on base: some clothes, some credits, some weapons. Anything personal had been lost long ago.

"There is more than sufficient space for the two of us."

"Well, it's not just the two of us right now."

"Your behaviour has become most unpredictable since you were assigned to work with Jyn Erso." He stacked one box on top of another with a little more force than was necessary. "When do we get to go back to how things were before?"

Cassian often considered going back into Kay's programming to fix some of his more troublesome personality traits, but the problem with the droid having free will was that he wouldn't _let_ him. He wasn't in the mood to argue when Kay was being particularly petulant, even less so because his friend was right. He rolled his shoulders, pained. Across the hangar, he saw Jyn, a flash of serenity among a sea of chaos. She and Baze stood with arms crossed, watching Chirrut as he chatted animatedly to a young blonde boy, and she was stone faced until Baze whispered something to her that made her laugh. Cassian swallowed against the fluttering in his chest. _You're a fool, Andor_.

"I don't know Kay. But this is how things are, for now. We might not be able to go back to the way things were before. And we have to stick with the transport because we don't know where the rendezvous point is."

K-2SO straightened to his full height, crate in hand. "Had you not been so unpredictable lately, you would have been included in the evacuation briefing. Is this how they are going to punish you?"

Cassian snorted. "I think it is." And it was a punishment he didn't mind. He thought it would have stung, to suddenly be excluded from something as simple as the location of the next base. He had ideas of course, having been involved in previous intelligence gathering for just such an occasion. But he was blissfully, strangely grateful to not have the burden of knowledge in this instance. He felt adrift, like the Rebellion was no longer enough to anchor him to his path. He patted Kay's solid arm, a gesture meant to comfort himself more than the droid who couldn't feel it. "You'll adapt, Kay. You always do. I'll see you on the ship." He picked up his duffle and turned away. He could have swore he heard the droid mumble something about not wanting to adapt at all.

 

  
X-Wings, Bodhi thought as he circled one up close, were beautiful.

He had only seen them fly in holos at flight school (they were only included in instances where they were defeated by Imperial fighters, of course) and he had instantly preferred the sight of them to TIEs. TIES were skittish beasts. X-Wings were elegant, and they reminded him of the birds of prey that hunted in the deserts on Jedha. Now as he stood underneath one, he could see the guts and workings of it, could follow a line from the engine to a cannon and understand how it worked. He wanted to take one apart and put it together again.

He was not a fighter pilot. He hadn't wanted to die for the Empire, and had done just enough work to score decently as a cargo pilot. It was mind-numbing and unrewarding work, but he was safe from the front-line, until the front-line had come to him in the form of Galen Erso.

"You're the pilot?" Bodhi jumped at the voice that had broken him out of his daydream, nearly hitting his head on the ladder that led to the cockpit. The blond pilot, the one who had been speaking to Chirrut moments before, approached him.

"Me? I'm - yes, I'm a pilot."

The blond shook his head, smiling. "I mean you're the pilot, from Scarif?"

Bodhi nodded. I'm the pilot, that was me, and I'm here now. Here.

"I'm Luke Skywalker." He held out his hand and Bodhi twitched his head to the side, his own hand slow to reach out.

"Luke... Red 5? You're the pilot?" He scrunched his eyes shut as the phrase repeated in his head. "I mean, the Death Star, you're the one that - "

Luke rolled his eyes, face a little red. "I couldn't have done it without you guys. Honestly, I just wanted to find you all and say thank you. They told me how many people you lost... I didn't feel right being treated like a hero when others deserved it more. So, thank you."

"Oh." Was all Bodhi could say. All this gentleness and kindness and gratitude had been missing from his life, since he had left his family behind on Jedha. _Jedha is dust, and so are they._ He dug his nails into his palms.

"Have you flown in combat before?" Asked Skywalker.

"No, just cargo. I would love to fly an X-Wing though. I'm going to sign up, officially, once we get to the new base."

Luke's face lit up, and Bodhi thought he radiated goodness. Not obnoxiously, but just a feeling of wanting to like everyone. There hadn't been too many pilots like that in the Empire. "Well, once you get signed up I'm happy to help out. It's the least I can do."

Bodhi smiled, his first genuine smile in a long time. If he could fly an X-wing, then everything would be alright. Maybe he wouldn't taste the dust of Jedha on his tongue or feel the caress of the Bor Gullet if he sat in the pilot's seat of an X-wing.

 

  
The small transport ship to which they had been assigned wasn't as impressive as the Mon Cala flagships being used for the rest of the fleet. It was much smaller for a start. There was the six of Rogue One, Commander Elan, pilots, techs, and what looked to be a group of six civilians who were ushered aboard from their hopper by the Commander. Refugees, thought Cassian, there are certainly enough of them on the galaxy now.

The highest ranking officers would be split across smaller transports as well as the flagships, and techs, support staff, medics, Intelligence and spec ops would be divided just as evenly. That way if something happened to one of the ships, each department still had representation and the Alliance would rebuild. Cassian recognised the small freighter for what it was: a last minute addition which seemed to skip certain protocols. Both Rogue One and the civilian refugees weren't part of the original evacuation plan. The cargo was likely of little value: furniture, spare parts, old weapons and tech. He didn't let his mind linger too long on the comparison to his own value.

A quartermaster on board assigned each of them to bunks, two cots in each of the small rooms along one corridor, with a basic 'fresher in each. Cassian was not disappointed to be assigned the same bunk as Jyn, based purely on where they had fallen in the queue. He didn't think she would have been happy to share with anyone other than one of them, and he wouldn't have been happy to have her out of his sight after all they'd been through. The wariness in her tired eyes frightened him. She looked like she had when they had first pulled her from Wobani: ready to pounce, ready to run, looking at everything as a threat. He hoped he wasn't being presumptuous by assuming that his presence would soothe her.

He wasn't sure he could soothe himself, by that point. Something wasn't sitting right, and he was too tired to pinpoint it. His shoulders burned with the lack of rest of the last few weeks, and his ribs ached with each breath.

Cassian waved Kay off with an instruction to either power down or make himself useful to the crew. He watched as the Guardians and Bodhi made their way to their bunks, all accounted for.

And then he and Jyn were alone in a room for the first time since the elevator on Scarif. He let her take the lead and throw her duffle of standard issue clothing on to the bunk of her choice. The room wasn't big enough for them to be out of arm's reach of each other, and their backs brushed as they stood between their beds. They turned at the same time.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he put his hands to her arms, because he had to touch her.

"I want to sleep for a week." Her eyes closed.

He chuckled. "You can. You don't have to leave this room until we land, if that's what you want. You've earned it." He looked at the floor. "If you want the room to yourself, I can find somewhere else."

"No, I - I want you here." She surprised him then, and leaned forwards so her forehead was against his chest. It was the most natural thing in the world to wrap his arms around her and press his lips to the top of her head. Jyn's hands fisted in the front of his shirt, and they stood like that for a long moment. She was warm, so small tucked against him. He felt her shudder, heard her sniff. She heaved a sigh and pulled back, and she looked at him openly even though her eyes were red and shining. "I'm going to shower."

He nodded and dropped his hands. Holding her had felt good, the urge he'd had to reach out to her since they had landed at Yavin was almost sated. _Almost_.

He took his turn in the shower after her, and by the time he came back she was curled up on her side facing his bed. Her face was relaxed in sleep, lips pouted and hair a dark halo on the pillow. She was safe, she was here. The Death Star was gone. Those two things alone seemed to lessen his guilt about blood on his hands. He really couldn't have lived with himself if he had obeyed the council.

At some point during the night, her hand reached out across the short distance between them and grasped his.

 

  
The tiny cot creaked a warning as Baze lay on it. He shifted uncomfortably. He preferred the ground of the temple, at least it had been firm and there was nothing to fall off the edge of.

Chirrut didn't seem to have any complaints as he lay on the opposite bunk. Baze eyed his husband and curled his lip at the angry purple scars on his chest. The fool, of course, had walked through fire yet again. Baze had no desire to repeat the sights of the last week: Chirrut bloodied with shrapnel sticking out from his side, blood seeping through every piece of fabric he could find, Chirrut pale and trembling on some strange bed as a doctor with a blaster to his head lifted his wrist.

He wanted to go home.

"Baze," Chirrut said, without opening his eyes. "You're thinking too loud." His hands were folded across his stomach and it reminded Baze of the dead laid out for a wake. He grumbled.

"You've given me too much to think about lately. I'll appreciate it if you behave for a while so I can have some peace."

A hand reached out and patted his arm. "That is out of my control."

Baze could have rolled his eyes, or snorted, or listed every time that Chirrut had gotten himself into trouble and then blamed it on the Force. But he was too tired, too unsettled - he had spent more time in space in the last two weeks than in his whole life, and he longed to feel hard earth beneath his feet. Not Yavin, not Scarif, but _Jedha_. He closed his eyes to stop them burning. Chirrut's hand gripped his arm more tightly, as close to home as he was going to get.

"I miss it too, Baze


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn is confronted by her fellow passengers.

The quiet echo of the cave turned into the crashing of the waves of Scarif before Jyn was pulled up from the dark depths of sleep to the hum of a ship in hyperspace. Her awareness returned slowly, she was still half in a dream when her eyes opened.

The ship. The Alliance. Jedha and Eadu and Scarif, Tattooine and Yavin, blood and bombs and death and _welcome home_.

The bed next to her was empty, sheets rumpled. She resisted the urge to crawl into it, to find comfort in any lingering warmth that might be there, a scent. Jyn closed her eyes, breathed deep as Saw had taught her, to bring her mind to the present. Counted heartbeats until the fuzziness of sleep left her and the edges of her body returned.

She grimaced as she sat up. She could have been asleep for one hour or twelve - the heaviness in her bones and tightness in her muscles could as easily have been from exhaustion as from too much rest. The cold recycled air of the ship met the dampness on the back of her neck and night shirt, the fever sweat of deep sleep a good sign that she had made it through at least one nightmare without waking. It was quiet. Hyperspace hummed around the ship, but she heard no footsteps in the hallway, no voices in the next room.

 _I could stay here_ , she thought, _in this room. And not have to think about any of it again. Maybe they're all gone. They've all left. He's left. I'll go out there, and they'll all have gone._

The room felt very small, and Jyn breathed into it, expanded her chest against it. Swung her legs around, let her feet feel the full chill of the floor. Pushed those old thoughts away.

_I didn't get this far to climb back into that cave._

Showered, dressed and with a blaster strapped to her thigh, Jyn stepped out of the room and nearly walked right into K-2SO.

"Oh good, you're awake. It's very boring, waiting for someone to wake up. I've been standing in this corridor for 3 hours and 27 minutes."

"Who said you had to wait?" Asked Jyn, and her neck tweaked as she craned her head up to look at it.

"Cassian." It answered, and if it could have rolled it's eyes and heaved a sigh because it was a stupid question, Jyn thinks it would have. No one else told the droid what to do, or at least with as much success as Cassian had. "Though I assured him any threat to your safety was minimal, he said it would make him feel better while he was at the security briefing and that you would want to see something familiar when you woke up."

Jyn smiled and ignored the part of her mind that wanted to dig at the hot feeling in her chest and examine it for _why_ and _how_ and _what next._ "Thanks, Kay. I appreciate it."

"It wasn't my idea. I told Cassian there were much better things I could be doing with my time. Had you slept any longer I would have gone in there and woken you myself."

Jyn shook her head, and wondered how Cassian had tolerated the droid for however long he had. "Come on then, you can do something more useful and show me to the mess."

K-2SO took her as far as the end of the corridor and pointed her in the right direction before he announced he was going to find something better to do. The canteen was utilitarian, like the rest of the ship. Two long tables, enough to seat 20, took up the centre of the room. The walls were lined with plain metal cupboards and benches, dotted with boxes and bottles. The smell of caf was like an embrace, a small comfort that had been such a rarity in the last few weeks that she almost wanted to cry at how wonderful it was. She eyed the packets of rations and nutrient packs and her hunger disappeared at the thought of the taste and texture of them.

Bodhi sat, alone, and stared into his mug. At the opposite end of his table sat a group of two men and three women, huddled closely together. One of the women was middle-aged, with dark braids wound high on her head. Across from her a younger woman only a few years older than Jyn, and a man in gray not much older again. The other two - a boy and a girl more than a man and a woman - were blond and wide-eyed. They wore a mix of the Rebellion standard issue clothing along with extravagant scarfs and finery. They stared at her as she went straight for the jug of caf, and their eyes bored holes into her back as she poured. There was nothing familiar about them, nothing identifiable.

Jyn placed her hand on Bodhi's shoulder as she approached where he sat, and regretted it as soon as he flinched and nearly knocked his mug over. _Stupid, Jyn_. _You've seen first hand what Bor Gullet can do_. She moved quickly into his line of sight and apologised as she slid onto the bench opposite him.

Bodhi fixed a smile into place. He tapped a jagged rhythm on his mug as he spoke. "They like to stare." He muttered. "I'm sharing a room with the one in grey," he said, indicating the older man with dark hair and a thin-lipped scowl still dressed in civilian robes. "He didn't speak to me."

Jyn glanced back over her shoulder to where the group was sat. The one in grey, and the woman sitting opposite him, met her gaze. She turned back to Bodhi. "Any idea who they are? They're obviously not Alliance."

"No idea," Bodhi shrugged as he tipped his mug on it's edge. "But I think I might look for a different bunk tonight."

"Good idea. Seen anyone else?"

"No sign of Chirrut or Baze. Cassian was on his way to some meeting when I saw him a while ago."

She nodded, taking in Bodhi's form as he stared down at his cup. His eyes were tired, and he still had the air of wretched exhaustion they had all been wearing recently. His arms looked almost normal again, though shiny and hairless. "Did you sleep at all?"

He shook his head. "Maybe, in bits and pieces. I didn't exactly feel safe," he nodded towards his bunk mate. "I don't know if I'll ever sleep right again, after Jedha."

Jyn felt a wave of compassion sweep over her. Bodhi was so brave, he had risked everything to do the right thing, and the universe had chewed him up and left him mangled. Both her fathers had played a part and she wondered just how much guilt by association was tangled up in the responsibility she felt towards him. She reached out and covered one of his hands with her own. "We'll find you somewhere else to sleep. And I promise that Kay would be thrilled to watch over you, he's really very comforting."

That earned her a smile, and a small chuckle, at least.

It also earned the ire of one of the women behind them.

"How dare you?" She growled as she pushed herself up and stalked towards them. "How dare you be happy?"

She slammed her hands on the end of the table and loomed over them. Bodhi shrank and tried to slide further up the bench. Jyn rose to the woman's level, and held her hands up in front of her. Her frazzled nerves itched for the blaster at her hip but there was no need, the woman was unarmed and Jyn could hold her own. "Look, I don't know what you -"

"I know who you are! I know who you both are!" She spat. Her pale gray robes were dirty around the edges and her hair was slipping from it's intricate updo. She leaned in close to Jyn, eye to eye. "How can you sit there smiling while we mourn?" The others from her group crowded around them, and the oldest woman reached out a hand to her friend.

"Needha, stop this." The older woman's voice was harsh, like an angry mother. "Leave them be."

"Listen to her." Said Jyn, her jaw tight with anger. "I'm sorry for whatever happened to you, but you don't know us."

Instead Needha spat at Jyn's feet, her eyes darting wildly between her and Bodhi. "I know enough. Imperial scum."

"That's enough!" Shouted a man's voice, the kind of voice that permitted no argument and Needha's ire seemed to freeze. An older man, dark skinned and hair striped with gray, stood at the doorway with Cassian by his side. Cassian slipped into the room, and stood between Bodhi and Needha.

"All of you, to your rooms, now!" The older man shouted. He eyed his group as they filed past them, Needha glaring back over her shoulder as she walked. He gave a nod to Cassian and followed his people down the corridor.

Bodhi heaved out a huge sigh.

"Who are they?" Jyn asked when the room was quiet.

Cassian sighed heavily and gestured for her to sit down. He straddled the bench beside Bodhi so he could face both of them. The line of his mouth was thin and his shoulders sagged. She doubted he had slept as much as she had.

"They're survivors of Alderaan."

Jyn chewed her cheek as her heart dropped to her feet. Of course. The infamous Imperial pilot and the daughter of Galen Erso are the last people they would want to be stuck on a ship with.

"But they can't - they can't think that we had anything to do with it? That it's our fault?" Bodhi rocked where he sat.

"Clearly they do. They're grieving, and we're easy targets." Jyn felt exhausted again. _I_ _should have kept on running_.

Cassian shook his head. "That man I was with? His name is Riel Brend. He was a good friend of the Organas, and a keeper of some of our secrets. He and his wife and staff were returning from a charitable mission to the Outer Rim when Alderaan was destroyed. They had nowhere else to go, they ran out of fuel and supplies. Brend got in touch with the Alliance and they were rescued, and arrived at Yavin about the same time we did."

"What does Brend think of us?" She asked.

"He's reasonable." Cassian touched her arm. "He's peaceful. He gave his word that he would put a stop to any suspicions they might have of the two of you."

"Do you trust him?" Asked Bodhi.

"Senator Organa trusted him. That's enough of a recommendation for me, for now. I don't know the others."

Jyn sighed at the unspoken words: the others could be anyone. She had survived prison with a cell mate who had openly wanted to kill her. She looked at Bodhi, who stared at the table with his eyebrows knitted. How much could he defend himself, even at his best? "How long until we reach the new base?" She asked.

"I wish it was that simple," Cassian sighed. "The only person on each of the evacuation ships who knows the location of the rendezvous is the commanding officer, in this case: Commander Elan. To avoid any chance of being obvious about where we're going, he has to give false information to the pilots - essentially, we'll keep making jumps at random until Elan decides it's safe to make the last jump to the right system."

"So it could be weeks?" Bodhi looked frantic, his eyebrows raised and his dark eyes wide.

"Or it could be days. Elan's not the type to over-complicate things, and he's not smart enough to think for himself beyond the letter of his orders." Cassian placed a calming hand on Bodhi's shoulder. "You'll be fine. We'll all be fine. Let them be angry if that's what they need, as long as we don't rise to it nothing will happen."

"He's right, Bodhi." Jyn tried her best to sound light rather than down, to match Cassian's comforting tone. "You should go get some proper rest."

Bodhi nodded, and unfolded from where he had shrunk into himself. His nostrils were flared, and his shoulders stiffened. His eyes had focus again. Good, thought Jyn. She liked to see some fight in him, to know that Saw and the Empire hadn't broken him completely. He left the mess and turned out into the corridor.

"You slept well." Cassian said, when they were alone in the mess and the air had cleared.

"You didn't." She pushed her mug of caf towards him, and raised an eyebrow in a challenge.

"I rested." He took a sip and grimaced.

"That's not the same thing, Cassian, for someone who was almost dead a week ago."

He shrugged and avoided her eyes. "It's supposed to be my job to worry, about you and the others."

"I'm not worried as part of your crew, I'm worried as a - as a friend." The word felt strange, and too small. Without his eyes on her it was easier to speak. "It wasn't easy, watching you...when you were hurt."

"I'm sorry. And thank you." He slid the mug back towards her, and their hands met around it. "I'm not used to having someone worry about me." He looked at her through dark lashes, and something stirred in her belly as his thumbs brushed over her palms. "Or having someone to care about."

"Me, too." Jyn whispered, and she swallowed past the lump in her throat, the voice from the cave that told her to _run, run away from this_. _Leave_ _before_ _you_ _are_ _left_. Instead she flipped their hands, ran the tips of her fingers to the pulse in each of his wrists, felt the twin beats strong and fast. She smiled at him -

-and then her heart was in her throat, because K-2SO pounded his fist against the door to announce himself. Their hands slid apart and she missed the warmth instantly. Jyn shot Cassian a glare, and thought _how do you programme a seven foot tall droid to walk_ _so_ _quietly_?

"Yes, Kay?" Cassian asked, in a voice that spoke of year's of learned patience. He crossed his arms and tucked his hands away. Jyn clutched hers in front of her, to stop herself from reaching back across the table.

"I was bored so I decided to run an analysis of the ship's systems. As I suspected, many of them were underperforming. I will have to run an upgrade with Commander Elan's approval."

"Is that it?"

"No. Approximately three hours ago, a message was sent using encrypted channels. It was very well-hidden, and easily missed by human eyes."

"What was it?" Jyn asked.

"I haven't decoded it yet. However it was sent using Imperial codes. I believe we have a spy on board."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look, a plot!
> 
> Here is where things get difficult for me as a writer - building a full story beyond a drabble and beyond just digging into what the characters are feeling! But this is the challenge I set for myself and I'm determined to see it through. Thanks for the comments and kudos so far :)


	4. Chapter 4

**"Yavin evacuated. Among the Rebel fleet. Coordinates of new base soon. DS-1429."**

It had taken Kay longer than the droid would have liked to translate the message, and he had grumbled about being out of date the entire time. Finally, it had found a similar coding in a scrap of data in it's memory, downloaded from the security droid on Scarif.

"A spy?" Commander Griegor Elan's thick black and white eyebrows bunched together, his eyes squinted as they appraised Cassian after he relayed in intel. 

Elan had made it clear at the earlier security briefing that Cassian had only been asked to attend to act as a liaison for Rogue One while they discussed the potential for conflict with the Alderaanians - Elan did not consider him to be part of his crew on this journey despite Cassian's rank as an officer, and his disbelieving tone made it clear that he thought the captain was overstepping his boundaries. 

_Not everyone is buying your story about Scarif being a sanctioned mission, Mon Mothma,_ he thought. _Or maybe it's just Elan's own pettiness_. Cassian had dealt with the egos of superior officers before.

He had strongly considered not telling Elan about K-2SO's discovery, at least until he had more information. He wasn't the type to go running to a superior officer with every new development, which was one of the reasons he had reached his rank at his age. But there were too many variables out of his control: Elan could decide to go to the rendezvous point and lead the spy right to what they wanted within hours or days, and there was a crew of a dozen to whom Cassian couldn't get access to investigate. 

"Sir, you have to delay our arrival at the rendezvous point until we have more information. We could be leading the Empire right to the Rebellion."

"Is that an order, Captain Andor?"

"No, sir. I trust you will make the right decision, for the safety of the Alliance." Cassian pushed his tongue against the back of his front teeth, trying to keep his expression neutral in the face of frustration. He would bend to Elan to get what he wanted.

"Hmm. For the safety of the Alliance." Elan muttered and crossed his arms over his broad chest and leaned back in his chair. "I've never trusted you Intelligence types. Can never tell when you're lying, and you're not exactly keeping honest company these days, Captain." If the Commander expected a reaction, he would be disappointed. As tired as he was ( _and maybe Jyn had a point about him needing actual sleep, because staying upright at attention was making his back ache and his thoughts blur_ ), Cassian was far too experienced at this game to rise to such simple bait. 

_Without us, you would be dead and Yavin would be dust_ , Cassian thought. But he maintained his posture of deference, hands clasped behind his back, as Elan considered him for a long moment. 

"How was this message sent, Captain? If it's an issue as simple as access to our Comms then we can put an end to it right now."

"Unfortunately not, sir. It was likely an independent communication device. But it relies on the ship's transmitters to boost it's signal, essentially hiding the message among the ship's own signals."

"An individual comm device means it could come from anyone." Elan ran his index finger over his top lip. "I'm reluctant, Captain, to start interrogating my own crew. Maintaining morale at times like these is already difficult without rumours spreading of spies and mistrust. I've always been a believer that the simplest explanation is the most likely. Suspicion must first fall on those not affiliated with the Alliance."

"The refugees from Alderaan?"

"Yes." Elan leaned forward and steepled his hands. "And your crew, Captain."

Cassian shook his head. "My crew have nothing to hide, Commander."

"I'm sure it seems that way to you. And I'm sure Riel Brend will say the same about his own people. After all, how well do you really know any of them?"

"I know they were willing to die for the cause when the Alliance wanted to run away." It was as close to a rise as the Commander would get from him, even though he kept his voice low and even. Elan just waved it away. 

"Doesn't prove anything in the here and now, Captain. Plenty of people are willing to die for the cause on both sides. And it won't discount them from my suspicions." Elan leaned back. "I know enough about you to know you are - or were - highly spoken of for your skills. We'll let a spy catch a spy - or try to. Look at Brend's people then. I'll do what I can with the crew without raising suspicions - it's unlikely the culprit has been among us for very long, otherwise Yavin would have been compromised before the Death Star incident." He rose to his full height, and puffed out his chest. He wasn't much taller than Cassian, though considerably broader, and the display was likely how he intimidated fresh-faced recruits. "If you don't get results within three days, Captain, then your crew will automatically be treated as prisoners rather than passengers. If I'm left with no other option, all of you will be dropped at the nearest planet. Is that understood?"

Cassian straightened his shoulders and locked his jaw, and nodded at his superior.

Not for the first time in recent weeks, obeying orders left a bitter taste on his tongue.

 

Jyn Erso was not a fan of space travel. The vastness of space should have felt like unending freedom, but being on a ship, especially with strangers (and it had been so long since she had considered anyone to not be a stranger), just made her feel trapped. _Caged_. On a planet at least there were places to hide, places to run to when things went wrong. 

The knowledge that there was an actual enemy aboard - not just the imaginary ones her mind was used to conjuring - made her nerves sing and her urge to run clawed inside her chest. 

She stalked the corridors she could access: along the sleeping quarters, near the mess, to the cargo bay and back again. Everything was dark grey and blue and steel, a little dirty and worn. Saw had always painted the Alliance as true and right and in her mind she had pictured everything associated with them as being white and sparkling and new. Truth was it was the Empire that took more care in it's appearance, with crisp uniforms, everything brand new and polished. The Alliance was hand-me-downs and rough around the edges and _desperation_. Not so different from the Partisans, really, she thought, no matter how much Saw had tried to teach her otherwise. Just bigger and with more politics.

Jyn took note of hiding places and exits, not many of either, vents and maintenance panels, as she repeated her circuit. There was a single, large viewport at the end of each corridor, and the blue-white light of hyperspace flickered hypnotically. She stopped at one and leaned her head against the transparisteel, and felt the thrum of space vibrate through her bones as she breathed deep.

"You seem lost, little sister."

She jumped at the words, and turned to see Chirrut. His blue and grey fatigues and shirt - the same standard issue as her own - blended with the dullness of the ship. Jyn felt unsettled, seeing him like this: it was like spying the famous star of a holodrama behind the scenes and out of costume. Without his robes and quarterstaff he still somehow looked anything but ordinary. His essence, his posture, was still _Chirrut Imwe_ , and he walked towards her with his hands folded behind his back. His feet were bare. Her kyber crystal felt warm against her chest, and she didn't bother questioning how he knew it was her standing there. 

"Maybe I am. How are you feeling?"

"Adrift." He said, as he stood beside her, staring out as if he could actually see.

She smiled. "I was talking about your injuries."

Chirrut chuckled. "They are much improved, and easier to deal with than other things."

"I'm sorry, about Jedha." Jyn said, because she realised she hadn't said it until now. "I'm sorry you were dragged into all of this."

Chirrut put his palm to the window. "If not for the call of your crystal, Baze and I would have been turned to dust along with the Holy City. Do you believe in the Force, Jyn?"

She shook her head, not as an answer but to try to make sense of her thoughts. "My mother did. I used to think she was a fool for it, because she died the day she gave me this necklace. I thought, what's the point in believing in something if it doesn't save you?"

"And now?"

"Now... when we were going to Scarif, it felt like everything in my life had been leading up to that point. Meeting you, and Bodhi, and Cassian... the things that brought us together, like it was all meant to be - is that the Force?" She couldn't quite believe the words as they came out. With Saw, there had seemed to be no purpose other than the cause. After, when she was alone, the only thing that mattered was survival. The thought that something else might be in control of everything made her feel lost and small.

Chirrut smiled, bright and blinding. "Some would call it fate, or coincidence. But from the moment we met, I could feel the connection between us all. I could _see_ it. And I thought that Scarif would be the culmination, the purpose of it all - I didn't expect to still be here, in the after."

"I don't think any of us did." She put her hand on his against the window. It was true - she hadn't expected to live beyond that mission. And now there was the question of _after_ : where did she belong? What kind of home awaited her at the rendezvous point? She wanted to be Jyn Erso, properly: not the daughter of an Imperial scientist hiding in a cadre, not a scavenger with a closed heart surviving under another name. Could the universe be so kind as to let her be herself?

There was no question in her about trusting Chirrut, so different to everyone else she had met. It was strange, to not have to question someone's intentions, but she revelled in the ease of it. "Do you still feel it, out here? The Force?"

He nodded and closed his eyes, as if he was searching for something in his memory. "Yes. But it's muddled. Distant."

Jyn stepped closer to him, and made her voice low. "Someone on board this ship has sent a message to the Empire. They're planning to expose the location of the new base, when we get there."

Chirrut dipped his head to her. "A spy? Are you hoping the Force will tell us who it might be?"

"I was hoping _you_ could tell us. There's a group of angry, grieving Alderaanians on board. Apart from that, it's just Alliance crew."

Chirrut nodded as if some realisation had just dawned on him. "There is a feeling of much anger, and sadness, and fear. It's... overwhelming." He shook his head. "Give me time?"

Jyn nodded, and squeezed his hand in acknowledgement. "We'll figure it out. But it looks like our work isn't done, just yet."

 

Bodhi Rook, curled up in a corner of the hangar, slept. He slept deeply and dreamt of Jedha, and his mother. Nimi Rook, the reason he had left his home to seek the secure paycheck of a cargo pilot, smiled at him from her sickbed, beckoning him to her and the sun shone through the window on her frail figure. His aunts and cousins gathered around her, and then there was a loud rumble and the wind blew a gale and they were blown away like the sand in the desert during a storm. And then he was running, and the caverns where Saw and Bor Gullet had got a hold of him were disintegrating behind him, the dust cloud biting at his heels as he ran and ahead were the crystal blue waters of Scarif. He tripped and fell, and suddenly he was on the floor of the ship, and there was a grenade in front of him - only this time instead of kicking it out of the hatch and saving his own skin, saving everyone, he could only stare as the timer ticked down to _zero_ and tentacles crawled up his legs and - 

-Bodhi jumped awake, nearly hitting his head on the bulkhead above him. The rumbling destruction of Jedha faded into the familiar hum of a ship in hyperspace. It had seemed an easier compromise to curl up in a quiet corner than to go back to his assigned bunk with the angry looking Alderaanian. Conflict would have to wait until he was better rested, his brain too fuzzy and unreliable from the last two few weeks for him to really be able to defend himself. 

He scrubbed at his face, and ground the heels of his hands into his eyes then blinked away the starbursts that appeared. It wasn't the first time he had slept in the dark corner of a ship and for an awful minute he couldn't tell if his nightmares were memories, or if he had dreamt the whole thing and he was still a slave to the Empire just taking a break on a long shift. He wasn't sure which was worse.

 _X-wings_ , he thought, _remember the X-wing on Yavin?_ He ran his mind's eye over the one in his memory, traced where the fuel source connected to the engine, pictured the controls in front of him, imagined himself soaring above the Death Star, and felt grounded and renewed.

He sat up and shook his head, stretched out the kinks in his back. Once the pieces of his mind came back together, he did feel better, and he was sure a few hours must have passed. Bodhi stretched his arms out in front of him and bent and flexed his fingers and wrists. The skin was shiny and a little redder than the rest of him, but other than a slight tightness it felt mostly normal and the memory of burning flesh had started to fade. 

The strip lighting around the walls of the hanger glowed low and yellow, any areas it didn't reach were black as pitch. The bay didn't hold much - two small hoppers which had brought them from planet to ship, each holding a dozen people at once. Still bigger, he thought, than the ship he had commandeered from Scarif to Tatooine and back to Yavin, though not as powerful. The rest of the bay was filled with boxes and crates of varying sizes with identifying labels. 

He leaned his head back against the bulkhead and let the familiar sound of engines soothe him.  
A loud sniff startled Bodhi from his daydreaming, and he clambered to his feet and peered into the darkness on the far side of the hangar. He swallowed hard and clenched and unclenched his fists before he said, "Hello?"

Another sniff. Bodhi kept his back to the wall and crept around the edge of the hangar. "Um. I'll just go now?"

"No! No, it's fine. You were here first." It was Needha, from earlier, no longer bursting with rage but puffy-faced and weeping. She stepped further into the light, eyes and cheeks damp and red. She wiped at her face with a dirty sleeve. "I'm sorry, I just needed to get away from everyone, but I didn't see you there. I'll go." 

She stepped forward towards the door but Bodhi stepped ahead and waved his hands.

"No, look, I'm leaving anyway. You can have it."

She spoke when his back turned. "I'm sorry, about earlier. Riel explained everything - it's just... Everything's I have is gone, because of them, and you're probably as close as I've ever got to a real life Imperial."

Bodhi straightened and tightened his jaw. "Well, I'm not one. I lost everything, too."

"I know that, now." She chewed her bottom lip. "I was angry. I'm sorry."

He could see tears welling up in her light blue eyes, and he felt a shudder of empathy. She looked harmless now, in the dim light. Earlier she had been full of rage, something that had made him think of Jyn and the fire she carried. Now she looked lost, her light brown hair falling messily in loose strands around her pale face, eyes tired. He stepped towards her. "It's ok. I forgive you."

Her face lit up through her tears. "Really?"

Bodhi nodded. "We're all in this together, right? We've all lost something, because of them." He held out his hand. "Bodhi."

Needha sniffed loudly and shook his hand, before she returned to wringing her sleeves. "Needha. What were you doing down here?"

"Sleeping," he said, and his face flushed. "I didn't get much sleep last night, um, I couldn't quite settle down."

"Because of Voryn?" Her lips thinned. "Did he say anything to you?"

"Voryn? That's his name?" Bodhi shook his head, and felt a bit foolish admitting his fears out loud to a stranger. "No, he just... didn't seem too friendly, that's all, and before earlier I didn't know why."

Needha nodded. "He's very angry, angrier than any of us I think. He kept going on about how many Imperials there are in the Alliance, and how we shouldn't trust any of them." She shrugged. "But he's always been angry, and too serious. I don't think I've ever seen him laugh."

"Oh." Bodhi swallowed. "Well, that's... helpful."

He must have looked terrified, because she smiled. "Don't worry. Voryn mightn't be pleasant company, but if Riel has told him not to do something, he won't do it." She reached out and put her hand on his arm, and Bodhi felt hot. "Give him time."

Bodhi looked down, unable to meet her pretty blue eyes. 

She sighed. "I should go back, they'll worry if I'm gone too long." She squeezed his arm before dropping her hand. "Can we talk again, maybe?"

His tongue felt heavy. "Yeah, yes, I'd - ok."

He let out a shaky breath as she stepped around him and her footsteps receded. 

 

Riel Brend was one of the richest men in the galaxy. On Alderaan, he had started his entrepreneurial career young, making his first profit when he was only 12. Throughout his youth he had a gift for good deals, and hadn't been afraid to take risks when the stakes were high. He brokered trade deals and careful allegiances throughout the Core and beyond, never seemingly declaring a loyalty to the Empire but managing to avoid their ire by still bending to their will whenever a deal called for it. Now in his senior years, he and his loyal wife of three decades, Shona, lived off his previous smart investments, and spent their time representing Alderaan on charitable visits to less fortunate worlds in the Outer Rim. They avoided the politics of their homeland while still maintaining the close friendship of the royal family. They were adored on Alderaan.

That is what the public knew about Brend.

What Cassian knew was slightly different. 

Riel Brend's various trade and export deals with the Empire allowed him access to valuable insider information and rumours, which he passed on the the Alliance only when the risk was low. The money he earned from deals with the Empire he would rather not have made (but couldn't afford to turn down due to the risk of raising their suspicions or anger) was funneled towards rebuilding what worlds the Emperor destroyed, and towards funding the Alliance. Everything was done through a vast network of different names and companies and planets, off the books and too tangled a trail for anyone to bother unravelling unless they had concrete suspicions. He did what he could, by means of finance, supplies or whispered information, to help the cause. 

Cassian had relayed what he knew to he Rogue crew when he was able to corral everyone into his and Jyn's quarters. The space was cramped - knees knocked in the space between the beds and Kay loomed over them all.

"And the others?" Baze asked. He sat with arms folded like a shadow against the wall.

"Brend's assistant, Voryn. Shona Brend and her assistant, Needha. The other two are students, they were on the trip as part of the scholarship the Brend's had paid for." It was all that Elan had been able to give him.

"A kind and generous man." Said Chirrut, who sat with his legs crossed opposite him. "Unless you suspect otherwise, Captain?" 

Cassian shrugged, and leaned his elbows heavily on his knees. His neck ached just from sitting upright and his back throbbed. He felt blind, trapped on this ship with an enemy and a ticking clock as the first day was nearly done. "It would take time we don't have to earn their trust to the extent we need." 

"But you have a plan?" Bodhi asked. 

"I do." Something he had used in the past, when he needed someone to reveal themselves. "The spy obviously feels comfortable enough to send transmissions from the ship. We give each of Brend's group a different piece of information - something tempting - and hope that they feel brave enough to send another message."

"The content of the message will reveal the sender." Said Kay. "It's simple, providing you are all able to convincingly give them false information." The droid sounded less confident than Cassian would have liked, giving voice to his own fears. The ship was small and the group was tight knit, if they talked among themselves then any leverage they had would be lost. It was the one blessing of having others to work with, rather than a single person trying to lie to them all. Jyn, he knew, at least had experience of hiding behind false personas. But she was reckless and Bodhi was temperamental and Baze looked like he wanted to storm out of the room, find a gun, and threaten everyone until the spy was revealed. Chirrut could go either way.

He talked them through the information that would be fed out, and listened to their protestations and 'what ifs'. It was all that could be done. His skin itched at how much was out of his hands.

When it was just he and Jyn alone in their room again, Cassian let his shoulders slump and scrubbed at his face. She was the last person he wanted to let down, but also the one he felt most comfortable letting his guard down around. Before he could ask her how she was doing, she knocked her knee against his, her body warm and her closeness beside him distracting. 

"Get some rest. There's nothing more we can do right now and you're no use to us exhausted." Her eyes were soft as she spoke. 

He opened his mouth to protest, but couldn't hold back the wince as he straightened and his ribs protested. There was still an itch, deep down, where bones and organs were knitting back to normality. "I should go and stay with Kay, help him monitor the signals."

Jyn stood, rolled her eyes, and gently pushed his shoulders until he got the message. This was new, this bending so easily to someone else's will just because they cared, but it seemed desirable when it was she who willed. He swung his legs up on the bunk and shifted back until he was lying down, and watched her. It was hard to tell in the low light of the room but he could have sworn there was a flush to her cheeks as she reached down to pull off his boots. 

"Put yourself first, for once." She sat on the edge of the bed, and surprised him by pulling off her own boots. "We're all in this together."

He held her gaze as she turned and pulled herself on to the bunk beside him, stretching her legs out along his in the small space. He felt frozen, scared to move in case she was in some sort of daydream she might snap out of. He raised his arm to make room for her flush against his side, her head on his shoulder and hand on his chest. The intimacy of the moment settled in his bones, made his heart thrum in his ears. Jyn was alive and warm and soft against him, and maybe she needed this brief respite from _surviving_ as much as he did.

"I'll sleep if you will." She said, her voice quiet and gentle against him.

He fought the urge to ask her what would happen when they reached their destination, what she wanted or _needed_ and instead let the heat of her body and waves of her breathing lull him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Putting the 'fi' into sci-fi with my sciency message signals - please don't think too hard about it!
> 
> 2\. I really struggled for a while with closing this chapter, and then realised that rebelcaptain is the reason I'm here, so when stuck write what you love, hence bed sharing. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> 3\. I just want them all to get some good sleep, ok? Poor babies have had a rough week.


	5. Chapter 5

Bodhi was not thrilled with his assignment. He had tried to argue - having already spoken to Needha once, he thought it would be obvious that he could easily speak to her again (and maybe, just maybe, he would have liked to) but Cassian had made perfect sense when he said that there was no one in a better position to talk to Voryn than Bodhi. Sharing a room was a convenient excuse to corner Riel's right-hand man and earn his trust.

Sensible it may have been, but it didn't mean that he liked it. It felt a little unfair, being given the toughest nut to crack when Cassian was a professional at this kind of thing. Bodhi's life had been nothing but subterfuge and lies since he had met Galen Erso and he was more than ready to go back to being just a pilot. _One more mission,_ he thought, _then you're home and dry and your new life begins._

He stilled at the door and gathered his bravery before entering the quarters. He kept his shoulders tense, ready to flee, words on his tongue to defend himself against the charge of 'Imperial scum'. What he got instead was a grown man obviously distraught, sitting on the edge of the bed wiping tears from his eyes. Voryn's face turned from upset to angry in an instant. Bodhi raised his hands in front of him as he stepped into the room. 

"I'm just here to sleep," Bodhi said as he stepped towards the cot. "I don't really fancy the floor of the hangar again." If he was honest he would have preferred it at that point, and he really didn't feel like sleeping, but it was late in the rotation and he needed to buy as much time with his roommate as possible.

Voryn eyed him, up and down, and his jaw tightened. He reminded Bodhi a little of Galen, though at least a decade younger and with less grey in his long hair, stubbly cheeks and bags under his eyes. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. 

"Look, um, about Alderaan - I'm sorry." Bodhi said as he sat down on the edge of his bed, and Voryn's eyes widened at the mention of his planet. "You're not the only one, you know? I'm from Jedha City, and it's gone now. And I know the planet is still there, but the bit I cared about is gone." Bodhi swallowed against the lump in his throat, because it had been over a week and he hadn't got to talk about it, not even with Baze and Chirrut who had the same loss and the same memories. "My mum, my friends, my family... and if I had been faster or braver maybe I could have done something about it." 

Voryn was silent for so long, staring at the floor, that Bodhi wanted to give up. It should have been Cassian here, with his skill and experience, or Chirrut with his charm and wisdom. Not him, not the pilot who hadn't been able to convince Saw Gerrera he was telling the truth even with evidence physically in hand. If he had been better with his words, more imposing and confident, maybe he could have made Saw see the truth in time. The city would still have been gone, but maybe there would have been a chance to evacuate, to carry his poor mother from her bed.

"How do you live with it?" Voryn's voice was very quiet, and his gaze was stuck to the floor between them. "How have you lived with it? How can you look anyone in the eye and act like you're not falling apart?"

"I haven't had much time to think about it, until now. I keep forgetting." _Bor Gullet left holes behind._ "When it's quiet and my mind goes away, I have to remember every time I come back to myself, that it's gone, and they're gone. If you're looking for words that will help make it all better, then you're asking the wrong man. But fighting, fighting has helped. Hurting the Empire, even a little... it's as close to revenge as I can get." Bodhi's eyes felt hot, in front of this stranger who could be an Imperial spy, but he couldn't stop himself, and if honesty was what it would take to make this believable then he would spill his guts out. "If anything I've done has stopped another Jedha or Alderaan from happening, then maybe I'll stop hating myself eventually."

Voryn's lips disappeared as if he was chewing on them, and his fingers clawed at his knees. "I'm sorry too, then. For Jedha. And I'm sorry, for making you uncomfortable. I know enough about the Alliance to know you're not the only Imperial defector here. You were just..."

Bodhi waved his hand. "An easy target? Don't worry about it."

The older man shook his head with a sigh, and splayed his hands in front of him as if grasping for the right words. "I know there's nothing I can do to change what's happened... No matter how much I imagine it. I just wish, I wish there was a way to make those bastards pay."

Bodhi leaned in and lowered his voice, and whispered with conviction. "It's going to happen. I've heard Eadu and Scarif were just the beginning." Voryn mirrored Bodhi, and leaned in close. "The next attack is the ‘trooper academy on Lipetsk. It'll be _soon_. They'll never replace the amount of soldiers they lost on the Death Star."

“Is that why you defected? Do you really think the Alliance can win a war against the Empire?”

Bodhi snorted, as if he really believed it. “I’ve been inside, I know their weaknesses. The Empire are so full of themselves, they won't see us coming. That, and leaving was just the right thing to do.”

Voryn chuckled without humour. “I wish I could fight. But I’m not a soldier. I arrange meetings and study interplanetary protocol. What kind of place can I find in the galaxy where that would be useful against the Empire?”

 _Or maybe you’re a spy._ “I’m just a cargo pilot. I’ve never even held a blaster. Doing something is better than nothing."

Voryn leaned back on his hands. "You must be very brave."

Bodhi shook his head. Galen had told him he could be brave, that he had it in him. "If I was really brave, I wouldn't have joined in the first place. Believe me, it had more to do with getting out of poverty than politics." He rolled his next words around in his head before speaking them, words he had hoped to say to Jyn first. "I just found someone who inspired me, and believed in me, that's all." Voryn returned the gentle smile that Bodhi gave him. He hoped the other man hadn't been able to spot the lie amongst his truths.

 

 

Jyn had woken, warm and content, only to fight back a brief flush of embarrassment that made her cheeks hot when awareness hit. She had dozed, with her head on Cassian's chest and his arm around her, and had awoken in the same position.

She had wanted, _needed_ , and so she had taken. And the fact that Cassian hadn't questioned or shifted or pushed her away told her that maybe he had wanted it too. She hadn't been so close to someone in a long time. Certainly not a lover, having preferred to not stick around any longer than necessary in the past. But the trust she felt towards him - the affection, unfamiliar in the way it fluttered against her ribs - seemed to be pushing her into these acts of gentleness and intimacy, forcing her to follow her instinct.

Cassian's chest rose and fell beneath her, and his heart beat a comforting rhythm against her ear. She committed the moment to memory in case it was taken away from her like everything else good in her life: the warmth of his body that seeped into hers where she pressed against him, his breath tickling her scalp, the way his hand twitched at her hip in sleep, the foreign sense of personal security she felt.

Jyn raised her head, looked at the scruff on his neck and let herself think about pressing her lips against his pulse, what noises he would make if her teeth nipped at the flesh. How it would feel to crawl on top of him, bare skin on bare skin. That was the only type of closeness she had allowed herself with anyone since Saw abandoned her, and it had always left her empty, never quite fulfilling the need for contact and connection the way she thought it would. She hadn't thought herself capable of anything more; until he said _Welcome Home_ and followed her willingly to what should have been their deaths.

Suddenly there was a future, and choices to be made. The part of her that had craved comfort and warmth and affection - the part she had locked away since she was a child - now seemed determined to overpower her. 

He looked peaceful and young in sleep, the low light wiping out the creases in his brow. He had needed this rest and wouldn't have taken it for himself without prodding while there was a threat nearby. She wondered what kind of horrible things he could have done to want atonement through following her to Scarif, and her stomach dropped when she thought of Eadu. The things he had been ordered to do were at odds with the evidence she had of who he was, this man who had come back for her over and over again.

After a moment of freedom, Jyn shook herself out of her daydreams. She carefully pulled herself away from him, slipped out of the room with her boots in hand, and left him to his rest. 

She repeated her wandering circuit of the corridors, and then resigned herself to the fact that a miserable ration bar was finally more appealing than hunger, and made her way to the canteen where her solitude ended. 

Needha sat with Brend's wife, and her eyes widened and then narrowed when she saw Jyn. Both Alderaanian women had finally changed from their robes to the standard fatigues, identical to Jyn's. Their hair was piled high and elaborately, and they still wore the same fine jewellery - bright blue and cream coloured jewels adorned their ears, necks and hair, at odds with the dullness of their clothes and the darkness of the ship's interior. Riel Brend sat at the opposite end of the table with Chirrut facing him, flanked by the two young students. Chirrut was talking animatedly, with Brend and his companions nodding along intently. Brend seemed more natural out of his robes, more like the Everyman and secret rebel Cassian had painted him as. His young charges - a boy and girl only a few years younger than Jyn - looked pale and tired, but still focused on whatever tale Chirrut was telling them.

Jyn felt exposed in the room; too many strangers shooting curious looks her way, eyes on the back of her neck as she rifled through the box of rations and waited for the caf to heat.

It was only moments before she felt the two women approach her, and they stood close enough to her that her hackles raised. She thought maybe she was just being paranoid, and glanced over her shoulder to look at them and greet them politely, but the cold look in their eyes proved her instincts correct. Bodhi said he had spoken to Needha, that she had apologised, but clearly that had only extended to him.

It was Shona who spoke first, the older woman's eyes alight with anger though she kept her voice low. "I thought Needha was overreacting when she confronted you and your friend. I can tolerate being around former Imperials. But you - the fact that the Alliance would just let you, of all people, roam freely on the same ship as us is an insult."

"What crime have I committed?" Jyn asked with steel in her voice. She straightened her back and turned to them. Shona Brend was a good head taller than her, Needha not by much less, but Jyn was used to being underestimated. Behind them, Chirrut's gentle laugh carried across the room. The women stood close to each other, caging Jyn in against the counter.

"The commander told my husband who you are." Shona cocked her head and looked down her nose. "If you had any respect for the dead you wouldn't come anywhere near the Alliance. You would at least change your name so that we don't have to hear it."

"If it wasn't for my father, Alderaan would have been just the beginning." Jyn's heartbeat pounded in her throat and rage made a hot sweat flash across her chest. "I have nothing to hide, not from you."

Needha stepped in close, and whispered: "How does it feel, knowing that your name, your _blood_ , will always be associated with the deaths of _millions_ of innocent people?"

Jyn's vision narrowed, white around the edges. All she could hear was the rush of her own blood in her ears, a dreadful white noise that centred all her focus and rage on the two women in front of her. Her fingers twitched at her sides, and oh she had broken bones for much, much less than this - 

"Jyn." Chirrut's voice cut through the haze in her brain and suddenly the room was deadly silent. "Come, join us.”

She kept her gaze focused up into the eyes of the two women in front of her. They stepped back a little, perhaps mindful of being caught. Riel cleared his throat, and the two women stepped apart, breaking their stare. Jyn looked over to Chirrut, who sat with his head cocked towards her, listening for her movements. Riel’s expression was thunderous and the young ones looked frightened.

 _“Jyn.”_ Chirrut repeated, a question and a demand.

Her temper bubbled in her chest, like boiling water, and a scream was waiting to come up from her throat. _Sorry_ , she thought at Chirrut, as she pushed hard past the women and stormed out of the room.

 

 

Chirrut listend to Jyn’s fast footsteps as they receded. Her fire had burned like a supernova all of a sudden, rage had shot out from her and hit him like a wave. He hadn’t heard what the Alderaanian women had said to her, but he had felt their anger around them like a dark cloud. He fought the urge to follow after his friend: a fire like that needed time to burn itself out before you could get close.

He felt the flash of sharp anger in Riel Brend’s voice as he commanded his wife and her assistant to return to their seats.

“I’m sorry, Master Imwe,” he said tiredly, “Their tempers are running high. That girl – the commander told me who she is. I never should have told my wife until things were calmer.”

“We have all experienced great loss. And Jyn Erso has lost as much as anyone, long before all this. It is a time to band together and help each other to heal.” He said it loud enough for the women to hear. They were buried in a shroud of hate and fury, so hard to read.

“I agree. My dear friend Bail used to say something similar when he spoke of the Alliance – together we are strong. If we are splintered apart by hate we are no better than them.”

Chirrut nodded. “Wise words indeed. And important for these young ones to hear.” He liked this man. His anger was drowning in exhaustion and sadness, and he wore it on his heart for all to see. The Force was bright around him. Nothing was hidden, or false. It was always difficult where strong, negative emotions were concerned – and the ship was full of them – to see clearly, but Chirrut thought of the bait he was meant to feed to Riel, and it sat wrong in his throat. He heard the sound of Brend gently patting the two – Penn and Vala – on their shoulders. They shone like haloes in his mind – too young, and scared, still longing for the comforts of home and not ready to be out in the world at all.

The Force was light at one end of the table, and dark at the other. He would stay with the light, and be stronger with it.

 

There weren’t words in Jyn’s mind for the rage she felt. It was the same anger that had broken the bones of full-grown men, turned deals sour, and exposed her identity when she was playing as someone else.

But it had been so long since she had been _Jyn Erso_ that this was the first time in a long time that it had been undeniably _personal_.

She felt like a raw nerve, exposed to icy air.

She hadn’t dared go back to her quarters, couldn’t have faced Cassian’s concern and softness. He didn’t deserve to fall victim to her temper and she didn't want to taint that space that for now had been for tenderness. Instead she stalked her way to the cargo bay, which was as quiet and dark as her cave had been.

Jyn prowled along the rows of crates and boxes, fingers twitching in and out of fists as she moved. Her shoulders were at her ears and her breath didn’t seem to reach the bottom of her lungs.

All she could see in her mind was Galen. _Papa._ Galen watching his wife gunned down while his daughter ran away, Galen spending years lying to himself and the Empire, a shimmering blue hologram breaking her heart. Galen, rain-soaked and twisted, dying in her arms. That was the Galen no one else had seen.

Jyn lashed out and punched one of the crates, again and again. The light wood splintered, and tore her knuckles raw, but she persisted until her breath came in wracking great sobs that shook her entire body.

She found the darkest corner of the bay, fell to the ground and curled into herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Jyn :(


	6. Chapter 6

Bodhi hadn’t meant to stay so long in his room. As they chatted he had kept forgetting that this man was potentially an Imperial spy. Conversation had stayed on big topics, like war, and politics, until eventually Voryn politely announced that he would like to sleep. Bodhi had done the same, determined to not actually fall asleep because he was still unsure if this man could be trusted, but he couldn’t fight the exhaustion that crept over him as he laid down on the bed.

He had woken a few hours later, and cursed himself for letting his guard down, but he felt better for the rest. _Well, he didn't stab me in my sleep, so there's that,_ he thought as he stretched. Voryn was gone, his grubby Alderaanian robes finally discarded in a heap on his cot. If there was any luck in the universe with Bodhi's name on it, Voryn would be the spy and would have been tempted enough by the lie of an imminent attack on Lipetsk to go and send a message immediately, and K-2SO would hear it and this would all be over with by the end of the rotation.

 _I don't think I can ask for more luck considering how much of it I've had recently,_ he thought as he sat up and pulled on his boots. His stomach growled, deciding his next move for him. He left the room to look for food and safer company.

As he passed the room two doors down, the door opened and Bodhi jumped. Out stepped Voryn, tucking in his shirt and his eyes widened when he almost walked into his roommate. In the background, adjusting her rumpled clothes, was Needha. It looked as though she had just woken up, or - _Oh,_ Bodhi thought, and his cheeks started to burn. 

Voryn clapped him on the shoulder and pushed him forward. "Bodhi! I was just heading to the mess." His voice sounded too light, but there was a darkness to his eyes as if he wasn't happy at all about whatever had just transpired between himself and Needha. "Join me?"

Bodhi nodded as Needha's door shut with a whoosh, and allowed himself to be guided along the corridor. His mind skipped and repeated as he tried to regain his bearings.

 

 

Jyn's thoughts drifted to the past and future and back again, sometimes away from the present for so long that she was sure she had nodded off. The burning anger had faded only to be replaced by an emptiness that sat in her chest like a cavern of ice. Enough time had passed for her back to ache and her legs to cramp beneath her where she sat against the bulkhead. The silence and stillness was soothing, nothing but the hum of the ship in her ears; the strip lighting around the edges of the walls barely reaching her dark corner.

Her knuckles stung where the skin had split, and hunger still clawed at her insides, but she couldn't guarantee herself that her temper wouldn't flare up if provoked again so staying where she was seemed the best option for now. When she had woken earlier, with Cassian, she had felt for the briefest moment like she was in another life, away from her past, somewhere where the name Jyn Erso meant nothing and loss was just an idea.

Her father was going to continue to haunt her, it seemed. His name would be hurled at her wherever she went. Needha had been right: the name Erso would forever be associated with the Death Star and every life lost because of it. Destroying it hadn't cleared her father's reputation. She couldn't give a damn about her own. 

Her heart ached because no one else would see him the way she did. Only her, and those who had gone to Scarif because of their belief in her conviction. Less than a handful of people in the whole galaxy who believed that Galen Erso had done the best he could.

Heavy footsteps broke her from her mood. She looked up to see a familiar shape silhouetted by the dim lighting. _Baze._ He stopped and looked around, before picking up on her presence and walking towards her.

He carried two items: one a cup which he handed to her, which was full of hot tea, and the other a bowl of water with a cloth in it. Steam rose from both. He kneeled in front of her, and produced a wad of pale bandages from his trouser pocket. He looked odd, in his fatigues instead of his robes. His hair still hung around his face, his bare arms revealing more scars than she thought possible on one man.

"How did you know?" She asked, as he squeezed the excess water from the cloth back into the bowl and grasped her hand.

He shrugged without looking at her. "It's what I used to do, if I wasn't allowed to shoot anything."

She hummed at that, and watched him work, guessing that Chirrut had told him that something had happened. She flinched at first when the damp cloth touched the open wounds, but after a moment it felt soothing. 

"You still want to punch someone?" he asked as he cleaned her other hand. 

"A little less, now." She flexed her fingers and shook her head. "It wouldn't change anything. It would just cause more problems."

"You're learning. Don't tell Chirrut, he'll take credit. Next time, find me. I'm softer than a crate."

She chuckled, and marvelled at Baze's gentle touch. He reminded her of Saw - so intimidating and gruff to others, but soft and comforting when he was with those he trusted. He wound a strip of bandage around each hand, as he squinted in the low light. Her mood remained dark, the gentleness only made her feel more unworthy of his company.

"Do you blame him, for Jedha? My father?" Her voice was a whisper in the cave.

Baze growled without looking at her. "I blame many people. He would not be top of the list." His knees creaked and he raised himself into a crouch. "Despite what Chirrut likes to think, I don't follow him without question. I am here because I believed in you. And you believed in your father." He reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder, the warmth spread through her chest. "Don't hide too long. It's better in the light."

Jyn chewed her lips and nodded as he rose and walked away.

 

 

Bodhi stirred his caf, and picked at his third ration pack. His hunger hadn't been fulfilled but he had lost the taste for the processed food and had struggled to swallow his last few bites. He half listened to Chirrut and Shona as they chatted beside him. Riel Brend had taken Vala and Penn to the restricted crew areas, so they could see the control room and be distracted from their grief. Voryn sat across from him, staring at his hands. His anger seemed different since Bodhi had found him earlier, quieter, less grief and more frustration. He supposed Needha was the cause of that, and he felt a twinge of disappointment. The first beautiful girl to smile at him in longer than he cared to admit, someone who understood what it was like to lose their homeland, and _of course_ she was tangled with someone else. He rested his chin on one hand, and drew patterns on the table top with the other, which shook with little tremors more than he would have liked. _Was that from the burns, or from the trauma?_ He thought. _Scarif or Bor Gullet?_ He let his mind drift off to that pretty blond pilot with blue eyes and X-Wings to distract him from the caged feeling that this journey was giving him.

"I knew many Jedi in my younger days, before the Empire." Shona spoke in a small voice, her accent crisp and indicative of someone high-born. "You remind me of many of them. Did you ever train?"

"That was not my path," said Chirrut. "The Force moves with each of us in it's own way." 

"Can you use it then, like they could? Can you make things move? Do you use it to see?"

Chirrut's smile was wide and bright. "One doesn't use the Force. You become a conduit for it, and learn how to move along with it. The Force _allows_ me to see, in it's way. I see how the Force moves and that guides me." He reached a hand across the table, and took Shona's hands and flipped them over, palms up. Bodhi was reminded of the old witches of the Holy City, who claimed they could see your fortune and cure your ills for enough credits. "For example, the Force is dark around you."

"What do you mean?" The lines of her face became deeper as she squinted.

"You have felt great pain. And anger." _Haven't we all, thought Bodhi._ Chirrut's brow creased. "But there is light in you."

Shona squeezed his hands. "I assure you, Master Imwe, that the side of me you have seen today is not who I am." Her eyes shone with tears. "When something is taken away from you, isn't it normal to look for somewhere to put your blame?"

"Yes. But it is important to recognise your allies, and not distance those who have lost as much as you have. I assure you that Jyn Erso is not your enemy."

"Jyn? What about Jyn?" Bodhi asked, sitting upright. His mood dropped, like a rock down a well. 

Shona's face blushed scarlet. "I'm afraid I may have been rather angry towards her earlier. Because of, well, who she is. Because of her father. Master Imwe has been kind enough to shed some light on things for me."

"Good," Bodhi said, unable to hide the anger from his voice, his lips turned down at the edges. "He's right." 

Shona stared at the table. "I'm starting to see that, now that I've been told so much more about what you've all been through. I promise, I will apologise when I see her." She rose, still clutching Chirrut's hands. "If you'll excuse me, gentlemen."

Bodhi thought that Chirrut should just talk to each of the suspects in turn, if that was the effect he could have on them. They chatted idly for a while, mindful of the quiet stranger sitting with them, until Cassian entered. His hair was messy, but he was standing straighter and looked less exhausted than Bodhi had seen him since before Scarif. His eyes scanned the small room and Bodhi could have answered his question before it came out of his mouth.

"Have you seen Jyn?" He asked as he approached the table, expression neutral and not fooling Bodhi. He had watched them gravitate towards and orbit around each other since before Scarif. He had seen them cling to each other in the transport to and from Tatooine. He made bets with himself in his head on how long it would take before _sharing a room_ meant something completely different. 

"Baze is with her, I believe." Said Chirrut. "She is safe, Captain. Will you join us?"

Cassian stole a glance at Voryn, any unease at his presence well-hidden behind his blank mask, and took a seat beside Chirrut.

 

 

Cassian listened amiably to Bodhi and Chirrut's chatter, mind elsewhere. He eyed Voryn, who seemed lost in his own thoughts and oblivious to what was around him. _Or maybe he's listening and not missing a thing._ It wasn't until Needha entered that Voryn's head popped up before he bowed it again, lips in a thin line. Cassian listened to her footsteps as she walked towards the counter, heard her hesitate a few times before stepping towards the table.

"Excuse me, Captain Andor?"

He kept his face schooled into blankness, conscious of the threat around him. "Yes?" He asked, as he looked over his shoulder at her.

"May I speak to you in private?" Her voice was low, and she cast a glance at each of the men at the table as she spoke.

He nodded his assent and followed her from the room, and stopped a few feet up the corridor. Caution whispered in his ear, and he took in her form. Her shoulders were raised, and her hands clasped and twisted before her. _Fear. Nervousness._ Nothing that he himself couldn't replicate if called for. Body language was easy to learn and mimic once you knew how. 

He stood with arms crossed, while Needha gathered herself before him. She glanced around as if to check for anyone that would overhear. 

"I know you're the only real member of the Alliance among us, I mean, none of the crew come down here." She shrugged her shoulders and looked up at him through her lashes. "I just... I need to know that you can keep us safe, that's all. What with the Imperial defectors, and that Erso woman being allowed to wander around."

Anger flushed through him, but years of experience prevented it from reaching his features. _Is she really concerned, or is she playing a game?_ It was too soon to tell, but he gambled on following her lead. "You don't need to worry about them. I'm here to keep an eye on things." 

"I knew you would be," she bit her lip. "It's just... so much has happened. I didn't even know that Riel was this close to the Alliance. It's so hard to know who to trust." She stepped closer to him, into his breathing space. Her pale eyes were not green and round, her hair wasn't sable and she was too tall - if she had any effect on him, it was to make him unsure - unsure of how to push her away while maintaining her trust. If she was really flirting, he needed to rebuff her while still maintaining enough of a connection to pass her the false intel, just in case. If she was a spy playing him, then he needed to be convincing.

He reached his hand out to her shoulder, stroked his thumb over her collarbone. "You don't have anything to worry about, Needha. We'll rendezvous with the fleet at Devaron within two days. Erso won't be out of my sight until then."

She smiled at him, something that would have been blinding to him only a few weeks ago (he was already blinded). He tried to look affected, nonetheless. "I knew you'd be reliable, you have that look about you." She stepped closer, and placed her hands on his arms. "Tell me, when we get to Devaron, what will happen to us? To me and the others, I mean?"

He leaned back against the wall, feigning ease. "That depends on what you want. The Alliance could help you find a new home, or find a job for you."

"A job? Like a soldier, or a pilot?" She laughed. "That's so... exciting." She licked her lips. 

Cassian was tired, particularly of lying. But he smiled and said, "It can be, if that's what you want."

Her fingers trailed up his arms and he wanted nothing more than to shove her away. He was thankful for the sound of fast approaching footsteps, less so when he saw that it was _Jyn_. The last time he had laid eyes on her a few hours ago she had been curling herself into his side before he fell asleep, and he had woken to her gone and the memory of her body lingering where it had pressed against him. 

She faltered in her steps when she saw them. He looked her dead in the eye - hoped she would read him without giving anything away. They had communicated wordlessly with ease since the moment they had met and he hoped it wouldn't fail them now, as he coldly said: "Do you need something, Erso?"

He watched her jaw tighten, her lips pursing slightly. Her eyes stayed locked on his. "No, Captain." It was the voice of Jyn, fresh from Wobani again. Cassian took in her bandaged hands and tired eyes and hoped her tone was just the act he had wanted. He longed to reach to her, to find out what had hurt her.

"Good. Go to the mess. Stay there until I come for you." He felt Needha's fingers press harder on his arms. Jyn's eyes cast to her, a hard look that would translate to a curse word, and she turned into the mess hall. He would have given anything in that moment to push Needha away, but professionalism won out. There would be time to explain.

Needha snorted. "I don't trust her. You should be careful, around her. She looks like trouble."

 _You're trouble,_ he thought. "You're right, she is. And I should go keep an eye on her."

Needha pouted. "I'd prefer it if you kept an eye on me. But... If you get bored of watching her, I'm in a room on my own. I'd feel much safer if you were around."

He squeezed her shoulder and shoved his hands into his pockets, pulling himself away from her. Her hands stayed on his arms. He gave her a half smile, as if he was really tempted: "I'll keep that in mind."

He caught her smile as he turned away from her, and he shuddered.

 

His crew, along with Voryn, sat in the canteen, Baze now having joined them. Jyn cast Cassian a soft glance when he entered, and his chest relaxed as his eyes met hers. He hoped this meant that she understood what she had witnessed, that he would never make her feel unwanted. Cassian fought the urge to stand behind her and place his hand on her shoulder, and feel her lean into him. He would have to maintain the act he had just put on for Needha: pretend that she was a colleague that needed to be watched, that he was sharing a room with her just for that reason. Still, his hands itched with the need to touch her, and instead he sat beside her where their shoulders could press. He leaned in slightly and felt her lean back.

Riel entered, bearing a bottle of clear liquid. "I'm glad you're all here," he said. "I've brought a little peace offering. Commander Elan was reluctant to part with it, but I convinced him it was in the interest of good relations among his passengers."

He set the bottle on the table. 

"Alcohol?" Baze asked.

"Will you join us then?" Asked Chirrut.

Brend shook his head. "I don't partake. And I feel like we could all use some more time with our own people, to let each other breathe a little easier. Voryn - come with me."

Voryn rose, his expression still dark, though he nodded at Bodhi as he left. Baze lifted the bottle, uncorked it and sniffed it before testing it. He grimaced, but passed it to Cassian. A sniff told him it was the rocket fuel that the pilots liked to brew up on base - strong but harmless in sensible quantities, and there wasn't much of it to go around. He waited until everyone - Chirrut excepted - had a share. He felt Jyn relax beside him. 

"Updates?" He asked, his voice quiet.

Bodhi swallowed his sip before passing the bottle along. "Done. Lipetsk."

Cassian nodded. "Needha, Devaron." He glanced at Chirrut. "The others?"

"No need, Captain. The Brends and the young ones are clear."

Cassian bit back a retort. He could have accused Chirrut of endangering them by not ruling them out through actual means, but he figured at this stage it would be pointless arguing with the Guardian. His strange Force-sight had not proved wrong so far, and Cassian hoped this wouldn't be the first time.

"That's two suspects, then. Kay is still up in Command, listening. All we can do now is wait."

Jyn huffed out a sigh beside him.

Bodhi snorted. "It's not like we have anywhere else to go at the minute."

Baze laughed, and the bottle made another round.

 

They all walked back to their quarters a few hours later when the bottle was done - it wasn't much, but enough to take the edge off, though Cassian could still very much feel his edge, because Jyn was quiet and distant. They all separated off into their rooms to continue their waiting.

"Are you ok?" He asked, nodding at her hands once they were inside and safe.

"I'm fine. Just... lost my temper over something." She crossed her arms, suddenly shy of the state of her knuckles. "Did you get Needha talking earlier? She seemed to be very interested in what you had to say." There was just a hint of an edge to her voice.

He shook his head. He didn't have the words to say _she wasn't you, you have no competition here._ "I'm sorry that I had to speak to you like that. She was scared and looking for assurance. I played up to it and I passed on the message. That's all that matters. We'll have our spy soon."

"And then?"

He reached for one of her hands. "And then, we go back to thinking about what happens next." He ran his fingers lightly across the bandages, his thumb caressing her palm. "Tell me." He whispered.

Her cheeks flushed. "They - the women - when they found out who I am, they confronted me. Said I should change my name, be ashamed of myself because of my father." Her lips thinned. "I took it out on a crate instead of them."

He could picture her - all hot, coiled tension unleashed in fury. An electric current of anger ran down his spine at the thought of it, that someone could cause her to hurt and he couldn't protect her from it.

"I'm always going to be defending him." She said in a whisper. "Everywhere I go... All anyone is going to see is the Imperial Science officer, not the real him. So I was thinking... maybe I should just go back to being no one, floating around the galaxy. Go back to being Lianna or Kestrel or anyone but Jyn Erso."

"Is that what you want?" His heart was in his throat and his mind blurred. She couldn't leave. If she did - would he go with her? _Could_ he? The cause that had owned his soul for twenty years versus the woman he had known for two weeks? It terrified him that she might win that fight easily.

"No, I want this! I want a _home_ , Cassian. It's all I've ever wanted, but every one I've had has been taken away from me. And sooner or later, this one would be too. If people want to hurt me because of what my father did, then I don't want you - any of you - to be in the firing line."

"Jyn, I will defend your father - defend you - until the end. I wouldn't have gone to Scarif if I didn't believe the both of you." He meant it, and wanted her to believe it.

"I can't ask you to do that." Her large green eyes shone, and locked with his before she looked away.

"You don't have to." He lifted her hand, mindful of the bandages, and pressed his lips to her palm. He hadn't known tenderness since he was a child, and he struggled to accept that this softness, this intimacy, that she brought out in him was something he remembered from so long ago. He thought that she had broken into the cage where he had kept these gentle things locked away.

She sighed at the contact, closed her eyes and placed her other hand on his heart. "I don't care what they say about me. Just him. He deserved better."

"Then we'll fight to see that he is remembered the way he deserved. Anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worthy of you." He slipped his other hand to her face, and let his thumb stroke her cheek. " _Stay_."

Suddenly she was closer than before, hand still on his chest but body pressing in against him. She raised up on her toes and he dipped his head down to meet hers. She must have been able to feel his heart pounding against her hand, as he tangled his fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck.

Jyn whispered his name into the space between them, and her lips met his. It was gentle, and unhurried, just a press of lips and bodies together, making his cheeks burn more than the alcohol had. The hand that held her palm to his cheek slipped up her arm, to her shoulder, down her side to grip her gently at her hip and she sighed into him; her hand on his chest curled to clutch his shirt.

He pulled her closer, and her mouth opened under his, and she tasted like the alcohol they had just been drinking, and then - 

The door opened and they jumped apart. Cassian was seeing stars, his heart was pounding and one look at Jyn's flushed face made him want to pull her close again, but K-2SO was standing in the doorway.

"Cassian," it's head cocked. "Is everything all right?"

The flush on his cheeks travelled down to his chest, and he crossed his arms to keep his hands from reaching back out to Jyn. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, and sucked on her own bottom lip as if trying to taste him.

"We're fine, Kay. What is it?"

"There's been another transmission. I was able to decode it much more quickly this time."

"And?"

_"New intel: Prepare for potential Rebel attack on Lipetsk. DS-1429."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN  
> 2\. KISSING!  
> 3\. Any planet names are taken from me googling "Star Wars planets". I do at least check if they are Imperial aligned, but feel free to suggest changes if something has played a massive role in canon that I am unaware of.  
> 4\. I totally know what they're gonna do when they catch the spy. Yup. Sure do. Not stuck at all


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as the door opened, Kay's arm shot out and grabbed Voryn by the neck, raising the man to it's own impressive height. Voryn gasped through the metal grip around his windpipe and clawed at the droid's arm. Having been in the same position herself in the past, Jyn did not envy him.

Jyn's head had spun when Kay had passed the message. Her thoughts of running from the Alliance, Cassian asking her to stay, kissing her, had her mind in a whirl and her nerves were buzzing. Her brain had warred for a moment between processing what K2 had said, and memorising the taste of Cassian on her lips and the lingering sensation of his stubble against her skin. The soft whisper of _Stay_ lingered in her mind like a caress. It was the thought of Bodhi, sleeping alone in a room with the enemy, that had shocked her brain back into focus.

They had debated the course of action - confrontation or entrapment - and decided that a swift and preferably quiet search and arrest was needed.

"What is going on?" Bodhi squawked, eyes darting between his friends and Voryn's reddening face as the door hissed shut behind them.

"We believe this is our spy." Said K-2SO.

"Kay, let him down." Cassian said, his voice soft. The droid dropped Voryn onto the cot, a soft landing at least. He clutched at his throat and gasped and gagged.

"What is wrong with you?" he choked out between wheezing coughs as he rubbed his hands over his neck.

"A message was intercepted from this ship, using Imperial coding." said Cassian, stepping towards him with arms folded. The warmth that he had shared with Jyn was gone, replaced by the professional demeanour she had first encountered in the war room of Yavin IV. "A message only you could have sent."

Jyn stepped close to Bodhi, letting Cassian take the lead given his experience. She gave the pilot's arm a gentle squeeze to calm the wildness in his eyes.

Voryn coughed out a disbelieving laugh. "Imperial? Me?" He stuttered as he looked around at each of them. "You think that _I'm_ with the Empire? Out of everyone on this ship - _in this room_ \- you think that I'm working for the Empire? Do _you_ really believe that, Bodhi?"

Bodhi folded his arms across his chest and stared back at his roommate. He shrugged his shoulders. "I almost believed you, with the way you cried over Alderaan." Jyn heard the sharp edge of anger, tightly controlled, in his voice. "Some of us really did lose everything, you know."

Voryn just shook his head and looked around wildly. "I have done nothing wrong! I have been by Riel Brend's side for years, helping rebuild the galaxy from the destruction of the Empire. That man is my only family. What possible reason would I have to betray that?"

"You tell us," said Cassian. "Did you know you would end up here, in the middle of the Alliance?"

"No! No, I knew Riel was a sympathiser, I know how he feels about the Empire and I feel the same! I never knew he was involved enough for us to actually end up here!" He scrubbed his hands through his hair. "When... When Alderaan happened, I thought we were lost. I thought we had nowhere to go, and we were going to die, floating on that ship. When Riel told us he had contacted the Alliance directly, that we were going to be rescued and taken to your base, I wondered who he was this whole time. I thought he trusted me with all his secrets."

"Or," Cassian said casually, and Jyn couldn't deny the thrill she felt at seeing him interrogate someone other than her. "You thought you had hit the jackpot, being brought right to the rebel base."

"No!" He rose, but sat down instantly when Kay took a step towards him. "Please! Speak to Riel if you have to, he'll tell you I'm no spy."

"If he had any suspicions you wouldn't be here right now, and if you're a _good_ spy, he would have no reason to suspect you." Cassian stepped towards him, coiled tension underneath the coolness of his voice. "The message contained false intel, details that had been passed to you and you alone. You passed that intel to the Empire. How do you think your superiors will feel when they realise you fed them nonsense?"

Voryn's eyes were wide and shining. "What intel? What message?"

"Kay," Cassian said, "search him."

"Wait, what? No, you don't have the authority!" Voryn shouted as the droid stepped towards him. 

"He doesn't need authority," said Kay as it approached the man, ocular units twitching as it looked up and down his form. "He has me." It's hand reached out and Voryn flinched as it grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. The droid's head tilted, and Jyn held her breath until Kay finally moved, reaching out with surprising care to pluck a small, flat object from beneath Voryn's belt. 

"What is that?" Asked Voryn, his eyes wide as he turned back around.

"The probability that you do not recognise this communication device is less than 12.5 percent."

"I don't, I swear I've never seen it!" Voryn yelled, looking past Kay to the humans. "Bodhi, we talked, please tell me you don't believe them."

Bodhi hissed. "Some people will say anything."

The door behind them swooshed open.

"Voryn, we're waiting for y - oh." Riel Brend stood in the doorway, and in the hallway behind him were Needha and Shona. "Is everything alright?"

This was exactly what they didn't want - an audience. Jyn glanced at Cassian who met her gaze but kept his face blank. 

"Sir, these people have gone mad. They're accusing me of being a spy for the Empire!" The assistant was pale as he ran his hands through his hair, leaving it slicked back with sweat from his palms.

The women in the hallway gasped.

The creases in Riel's forehead deepened. His dark eyes glanced at each person in the room. "Captain - explain." He spoke with the kind of quiet authority that didn't require a raised voice, but Jyn imagined he could bellow if needed. She was reminded very much of Saw, how he spoke to the troops with a stern yet hypnotic voice until he was truly angered.

Cassian took the communicator from K-2SO, and held it out in his palm. "Sir, we've intercepted transmissions sent by an Imperial spy from this ship."

"You can't believe them, sir. I have no idea how that thing ended up here." Voryn lunged forward, and was stopped by K-2SO's hand on his chest.

Riel held up a hand, eyes on Cassian rather than Voryn. His assistant stilled. "Captain, I'm sure you wouldn't have acted without sufficient cause however I assure you I have never had any reason to suspect that his man has anything other than undying loyalty to his work." 

Jyn watched as Cassian's eyes flickered over the women behind Brend, before he glanced back at Voryn. "That may be," he said, tucking the device into his pocket. "In the interests of safety however, we would be best discussing this in more privately. I need to update Commander Elan on the situation, join me."

Brend held his gaze for a few breaths, square jaw tight. He nodded, and told his wife and her assistant to go back to their rooms, before he turned and left.

Bodhi let out a heavy breath beside her. Voryn looked down at K-2SO's hand on his chest, then back at Cassian.

"Kay, seal this room - he doesn't leave." Voryn squawked as the droid pushed him down on to the cot before he could protest. "Then follow me up to Command, I'll need you to debrief Elan." said Cassian. He looked over at Jyn, and she understood. _This is Alliance business_ , she thought. She would have his back but for now she needed to keep an eye on things with the crew.

"Come on, Bodhi," she hooked her arm around his, "let's get something to eat."

 

Cassian was relieved to be excused after making his report to Commander Elan. Riel Brend had been than accepting of the fact that the man he had hired to be around him and his family every hour of the day, involved in his intimate and financial dealings, was possibly an Imperial spy. The atmosphere had turned more sour the longer the discussion ran, and the amiable philanthropist disappeared behind the rage of a humiliated and terrified husband.

Elan had been pleased with the result - the communication device evidence enough for him - but to Cassian it seemed to be over too easily. Paranoia was a trait instilled in him from an early age, and one he passed on to K-2SO - as a result he had the droid still monitoring communications and signals and ordered him to dismantle the communication device. He wanted to interrogate Voryn, unwilling to take things as they were. His instincts itched at the back of his skull, telling him that something was _off_ , but for all he knew it was the aftermath of _everything_ finally settling in, something akin to shock clawing up from his subconscious now that there was nothing more to be distract him. 

_Or maybe, just maybe, it's the first time in so many years that you've had something other than an abstract cause to care about and you're now seeing danger where there is none?_ He hoped not, because he would never rest again if that was the case, not as long as Jyn was around and there was a war to be fought.

Providing of course, that Jyn was actually going to still _be_ around when this journey ended.

He shook the thought away, hid it behind the obligations of duty for now. His crew were still his responsibility, and he found them all in the canteen. Cassian stood in the doorway and watched.

Bodhi and Baze had found a battered looking deck of Sabaac cards, and were teaching Vala and Penn to play the game using ration packs as credits. Chirrut sat still at the other end of the table, eyes closed and smiling slightly, as if he was absorbing the atmosphere. Jyn was opposite him, hands wrapped around a cup of caf as she watched the game, but her tired eyes seemed light years away. Cassian felt an unfamiliar surge of warmth in his veins at the sight as the young ones smiled at Baze's victory against a grumbling Bodhi. It hadn't occurred to him at all that they might need some sort of comfort and distraction. After all, by that age himself he was a soldier with deaths on his conscience. And maybe Baze and Bodhi needed it too, with their own losses so recent. His own wounds were like old, thick scar tissue and they had stopped feeling raw enough to justify the blood on his hands several missions ago.

"Captain," said Chirrut, without opening his eyes or turning his head, and Cassian thought he would never get used to that, "will you join us?"

Jyn's eyes snapped up to his, aware now of his presence. _Stay,_ he had asked. He had never asked anyone to stay with him before, would never have dreamed of asking someone to share in his misery. He had never been drawn into someone else's orbit quite like this. She smiled softly at him, a question of _are you ok?_ in her raised brows. He nodded, gave a half smile that only she would see. It seemed to be enough, and her shoulders relaxed.

"Maybe later." He said, and meant it. He watched for another moment, as Bodhi recouped his rations, before leaving. "I have something to do first."

 

 

He walked down the hall, and was surprised to see Needha standing outside Voryn's room. Her hand was on the keypad, however only he and Kay knew the code. Cassian swallowed down a scowl and slipped into the skin he had worn around her last time.

"Is everything alright, Needha?"

Needha jumped, her startled expression giving way to a smile. "Captain, I just wanted to check on Voryn. Well," she blushed. "I was hoping he would hear me if I yelled at him through the door."

"Do you always go around starting fights with Imperials and traitors?" he asked. He stood in her space, and leaned one shoulder against the door. He didn't want to deal with this, he wanted to interrogate the suspect, put this thing to bed, go back to thinking about the future and dealing with the past.

She shrugged, looking up at him through her lashes. _She's taller than Jyn_ , he thought, before dragging his mind away from the memory of having to lean down kiss her.

"I just don't like them, that's all. They cause so much pain. Did he tell them anything that will put us in danger?" she clutched at his arm.

He gave her his most cocksure, Joreth Sward smile. "Nothing useful. False information. His superiors will be furious, and he'll look like a fool for it." It was a gamble. She was still a suspect, but he followed his instincts. 

A blush bloomed on her cheeks and chest, contrasting with her dull fatigues and the large blue stones of her jewelry. Her eyes glazed for the briefest of moments before she smiled at him. "Oh, that's very clever. Tell me, will we be there soon? I'll feel so much safer once we are."

"We'll be out of hyperspace soon, and then we'll make the jump to Devaron." The first was true - Elan had taken the discovery of Voryn as evidence enough that it was safe to make the final jump to the new base. It's location was still unknown to Cassian, and even if he did know he would have stuck to the lie. "You'll be safe there, or free to go wherever you want."

"I think I would like to stay around for a while," she squeezed at his arm. "I mean, I really don't have anywhere else to go after all. And what about your Imperial friend?"

"She has her uses. But I think she'll be lucky to survive a week among the rest of the rebels." He winked, and hated himself.

Needha hummed. "Maybe you should lock her away with him," she slipper her hand up his arm to his neck, stroked her thumb over the tendon. "If they're both locked out of the way then you would be safe to come spend some time with me."

He wanted to crawl out of his skin. "Perhaps, later." He took her hand from his neck and ran his thumb over her knuckles before kissing them. "But first, I have to speak to our friend here and see what secrets he will tell." She made no move to step away from the key pad as he pushed himself away from the door. He gently let go of her hand. "I'll find you, yes?"

She relented, and nodded. "Don't make me wait too long," she threw back over her shoulder as she turned to walk away.

Cassian said nothing, but watched her walk away knowing she would expect it. As soon as she was out of sight down the corridor, he shook his head and slipped out of the persona he had made for her. Whoever he really was, that was not it, and he had no desire to keep the charade going for any longer. He keyed in the code and entered Voryn's room.

 

 

"Where are you, Jyn?" Chirrut's voice broke through the haze of her thoughts. She had been somewhere, past and present at the same time, lost in memories and possibilities. She looked at him and the room came back to her - Baze and Bodhi mumbling to the young Alderaanians beside them, explaining their hands, Chirrut across from her, blind eyes focused on her.

"I was... adrift," she said, thinking of their last talk. It's safe, she thinks, to talk to him. So far he's shown nothing but wisdom and patience without judgement. She wrung her hands for a moment, trying to pick her words. "Have you decided what you're going to do when we get to the next base?"

He leaned forward, speaking quietly. "Baze is angry, has been for a long time. But he has also been profoundly affected by the very fact of our survival. That, and the Skywalker boy, have made him question himself. I think he may be finding his faith again, through his mourning. Our path lies with the new Jedi, until something else becomes clear."

"So you're staying with the Alliance?"

"No, we're staying with the Jedi," he said. "We will go where he goes, for now. The Alliance will just have to accept us as part of him. We are not military."

Jyn smiled at him, and he must have been able to sense her genuine relief that they had found a purpose because he grinned back at her.

"And you, Jyn? Have you made your decision yet?"

"I _want_ to stay." Saying the words out loud felt like a weight being lifted off her chest. "I just don't know if that means I _should_. I'm tired of losing the things I care about."

He took her hand in his.

"A cave is no place to live, little sister."

Jyn shook her head. She didn't know how much Chirrut knew about her past, but it didn't seem to matter to him - he didn't need names and details to know her story. She had always thought she wore loss and anger like a shield around her, in her sullen features and battle-ready stance - an armour and a visible warning to everyone to stay away. 

"The Force shines so brightly around you, even now after your mission is done. It would be a crime to lock that away in the darkness." He looked right at her as if he could see. "The Alliance needs that light, and so does the Captain. Just as you need theirs." He grabbed her other hand, and held both in his. "Close your eyes. Breathe deep. Think about what you _want_ , not what you're afraid of losing."

Jyn closed her eyes, focused on her breath for a few moments as Saw had taught her so many years ago. She wanted to have family again. She wanted to see Bodhi fly an X-Wing and tell her stories about her father, wanted Baze and Chirrut to find peace in the Force. She wanted Cassian, in her bed and in her heart, because she thought that if they could both figure out _how_ to love each other they would never stop. She wanted to dive headfirst into loving and being loved, into fighting to free the galaxy from the Empire that had taken so much from her. With Chirrut guiding her, his warm hands draining the tension from her, it seemed so _simple_. "I don't want to hide anymore."

"And when you think about what you want, what would you do to keep it safe?"

She opened her eyes. "I'd fight the Emperor himself."

 

 

Voryn sat on his bunk, back against the wall. His face was red and puffy, his hair hung like string around his features. He looked up when Cassian entered. 

"I take it I'm not being let out of here."

"Not yet," said Cassian. "Unless you can convince me otherwise."

"I told you, I'm not a spy. I was born and raised on Alderaan, and I've been with Riel since I took over the position of aide from my uncle seven years ago." He pressed his fingers into his forehead and rubbed circles. 

"Doesn't mean you can't have been compromised."

"Really? For what, money? Freedom? Power?" He snorted. "I work constantly. I have little to no life of my own, outside the Brends and their causes. And I like the work we do."

Cassian wanted to believe him. The defeated slump of his shoulders, the flush in his face from frustration and the voice dry from crying... he wanted to believe that this man was telling the truth.

Of course, if _he_ were behind enemy lines he would hope to be just as convincing, and in fact had been on more than one occasion. 

"Voryn, if you want me to believe you, then you have to find a way to explain how that comm device ended up in your belt." He kept his voice calm, neutral - not a promise, or a challenge, just a hint of a possibility that he could be convinced of something else. The more information he could get out of the man, the more he had to use against him.

"I don't know." He shook his head. "How did you even know it would be there? How did you know to even look?"

"The message we intercepted contained information that was passed to you specifically. We knew there was a spy on board, so each member of your group was given a piece of information specific to them. Bodhi told you something, and that was the content of the message we intercepted."

"Told me what?"

"That there would be a rebel attack on the military installation on Lipetsk, soon."

"And how do you know it wasn't Bodhi? He was an Imperial pilot."

"As I said, the intel was made up. It was Bodhi's job to pass it on to you, to make it tempting."

Voryn shook his head, about to issue a denial, and then stared at the floor, eyes darting from side to side as if searching for something. And then he laughed, a short, shocked bark followed by a chuckle with the shake of his head. He put his head on his hands, elbows on his knees as he trembled, before he threw his head up again. "That little... I should have known." He huffed out a sigh, tears gleaming in his eyes. "There is someone else who knows. I told her that exact same piece of information."

"Who?" Cassian asked.

"Needha." He said.

Cassian licked his bottom lip. Now we're getting somewhere. "And why would you tell her about that?" _Did she play terrified and helpless with you, too?_

"We've... sometimes we, when..." He cleared his throat. "We spend all our time with the Brends, working and travelling. We're young, we're... compatible. We have an arrangement."

Cassian watched as his cheeks reddened again, almost the shade he had been when Kay was choking him earlier. "And what, talking about rebel attacks is your idea of seduction?" 

"She was upset, she was scared."

 _I bet she was,_ he thought. "So you told her? About Lipetsk?" asked Cassian.

The Alderaanian huffed and rubbed at his eyes. "Yes. I was trying to calm her down, she was so angry about the Erso woman - So I tried to reassure her, told her about the attack, to convince her that the Alliance was stronger than the Empire and we would be safe."

"And how did she react?" 

"Well, it - it seemed to work." Voryn said, "And then , _after_... she couldn't wait to get rid of me. But she's always been like that, one minute all over you and the next cursing your name. Wasn't really any different to any other time we've been together."

Cassian considered this for a moment. He did not want his personal opinions of the woman (formed mostly by her unpleasant interactions with Jyn) to cloud his judgement. But he was good at his job because he didn't let himself be blinded by the obvious. If they had slept together, not only could Voryn have told Needha about the attack, but she easily could have placed the communicator on his person. Of course, Voryn could also just be trying to shift suspicions to her with a convenient cover.

"Tell me about her." Cassian asked. Voryn huffed out a breath, composing himself.

"She joined us two years ago, after Shona's last assistant got sick. I ran her background checks myself, everything added up."

"Let me guess: she had a paper trail, but anyone who knew her hadn't known her for long?" _Sloppy,_ he thought. _Impatient._

Voryn's face paled. Cassian could see his brain working, as he tried to find ways around saying _Yes, you're right_. "She was interning for Senator Auren, she'd been with him for about three months... before that she studied on Corsucant." Voryn snorted. "Appeared out of nowhere as soon as Tana got sick..."

Cassian nodded. Another thread to be pulled. He turned to leave, to find Needha and talk to her without playing her game.

"Wait, does this mean I'm free?" Voryn asked, standing as the door opened.

Cassian shook his head and keyed the lock pad on the door.

"Not a chance."

 

 

Jyn wandered the halls. Talking with Chirrut, and the release of saying what she wanted out loud to another being, had her feeling restless. She felt more caged than ever in her surroundings, and she itched for freedom and air and sunlight. The claustrophobia of the ship warred with her decision to get out of her cave - she was ready for this to be over already.

She slipped down to the cargo bay, tired of walking up and down the corridors waiting for something to happen. And something did happen as she stepped down into the hold - the ship shuddered, and the vibrations under her feet changed their pitch. There was the sensation of falling forward and then snapping back, and she reached out to the wall to steady herself. _We've dropped out of hyperspace,_ she thought, _One more jump closer to home, wherever that may be._

Jyn jumped at the sound of something metal clattering. In the dim light she could make out Needha, fiddling with the control panel by the hatch of one of the hoppers that had brought them from planetside to the ship. Jyn watched as she pulled off one of her blue stone earrings and twisted it apart, revealing a metal spike which she poked into the guts of the panel. Jyn, seasoned thief, knew a lock pick when she saw one. 

_Not the behaviour of a lady-in-waiting,_ she thought. She watched as Needha opened the entrance hatch and climbed aboard. Lighting flickered on inside the small transport.

Jyn considered her options. She had no comm device, so summoning the others would take too long. She had no weapon - well, she was never truly weaponless, but she would have preferred to at least have her truncheons if not a blaster. If Needha was up to no good, then she needed to be stopped sooner rather than later - particularly as they were no longer in the relative safety of hyperspace. 

Jyn stepped forward, as quietly as she could, ducking low and pressing herself against the ship as she approached the hatch. She listened, hearing only the shuffling movements of the woman onboard. Jyn took a breath and stepped up into the hatch. The back of the ship had two long benches on either side, and there were two chairs up front for the pilot and co-pilot. The small ship hummed, buttons on the dash blinking.Needha sat in the pilot's seat, pressing buttons on the console. Needha held a small rectangular metal object in her hand - identical to the one they had found on Voryn earlier. The top casing was slid up and she tapped on a small touch screen underneath.

Jyn steadied her breath and crept forward, keeping low and in what she assumed to be Needha's blind spot. The spy began tapping on the touch screen. 

"Sending more lies to the Empire?" Asked Jyn as she stood up straight, taking little satisfaction in seeing Needha stiffen.

Needha slid the comm device shut and turned. "Me? I'm just an innocent aide to a rich woman, mourning the loss of her planet." She rose. "If you get caught laying a hand on me, who do you think will be believed? Me, or you: the daughter of the Imperial scientist who killed millions?"

Jyn felt the burning inside of her again, hot coals in her chest. She bit back the urge to defend, to explain - this woman wasn't worth the breath. Cassian would believe her, and Bodhi and Chirrut and Baze. But who would believe _them_ , given their standing with the Alliance? 

It didn't matter. She knew the truth. "I'll take my chances." She stepped forward. "Why didn't you reveal the location of the Rebel base?"

Needha shrugged. All Jyn needed was time, and if the spy was willing to talk Jyn would keep her going as long as possible. "I was interrupted. I had to prioritise. After what you and your friends did - the lives of thousands of good loyal soldiers of the Empire lost in a heartbeat because of _your_ actions - I thought it best to warn them of an impending attack on our assets." 

"How loyal of you."

"I placed my spare comm device on Voryn's clothes purely as back up in case anyone got suspicious - and I'm guessing your clever Captain won't take long putting the story together now that an interrogation has started. So I assume I won't be in a position to tell the Empire anything once we reach the _actual_ base." 

"No," said Jyn, easing herself forward. "You won't. Pity they'll be wasting their time at Lipetsk because of you."

Needha huffed a bitter laugh. "Oh no, I'm going to give my superiors something else to make up for it. Don't doubt for a second that I'm not willing to die for my cause, Erso. I know when I'm caught. But I refuse to _fail_." She patted the headrest of the pilot's seat. "This little hopper has provided me with our current coordinates, now that we've dropped out of hyperspace." She slid the comm device open again, and her thumb hovered over the touch screen. "Let's play a game: can this ship outrun a Star Destroyer?"

As soon as she was within reach, Jyn grabbed the woman's wrist, forcing her to drop to comm device. Needha surged up, twisting her arm against Jyn's grip with surprising ferocity. Jyn recognised hand-to-hand combat training in the way that Needha used her leverage against her, trying to break Jyn's grip - and possibly dislocate her shoulder in the process - in textbook fashion. 

Needha twisted and ducked under Jyn's arm, and flung herself backwards so that Jyn was slammed into the bulkhead. Needha was taller, with greater reach, though the tight quarters of the small ship didn't offer much advantage for longer limbs anyway. She wasn't overly strong - soft from not using her skills, Jyn thought briefly. Jyn ducked from a punch and swept a kick at Needha's right knee, the toe of her boot catching the edge of the kneecap hard enough that Needha cried out and stumbled down - Saw's voice whispered in her head, _create a weakness where there was none_.

Suddenly Needha charged up and forwards from her crouch with a yell, trying to slam Jyn against the bulkhead. With one injured knee Needha couldn't generate enough force against Jyn's lower centre of gravity, and Jyn easily caught her wrist, twisted her arm up her back and pressed Needha into the steel wall. It took more exertion than she would have liked, as she demanded too much of muscles that were still aching and torn from Scarif.

"If you have endangered any one on this ship, I will kill you myself." Jyn hissed. _They're all I have left._ The fire in Jyn burst forth in her chest like a backdraft as Needha laughed in response.

"Go ahead, then. The message has already been _sent_." She spat. "You've just bought me _time. ___

__Jyn twisted Needha's arm harder, her vision clouded and heart pounding in her throat. _No,_ she thought. _I have to stop this, I have to protect them._ With her other hand she pulled Needha's hair back hard and slammed her head forward into the bulkhead. The spy instantly went limp and crumpled to the floor. Jyn stopped only to pick up the Imperial comm device before running from the hopper, cursing the lack of her own comms. _ _

__She ran, through the cargo bay, out into the corridor and straight into Cassian. They stumbled together and his hands gripped her arms, his eyes wild with concern as he said her name._ _

__"The Empire has our coordinates," she gasped breathlessly. "We need to jump, _now._ "_ _

__Cassian nodded and grabbed her wrist, pulling her along in the direction of the crew section. He didn't ask any questions, didn't ask how she knew what was happening, and Jyn felt a well of what could only be affection warm her at the implied trust. She tucked it away for later._ _

__They barrelled along the corridors that would lead them to Command, Cassian's rank getting them that far before they were stopped by the door that would lead them to the flight deck._ _

__"Sorry, Captain," said the stocky lieutenant as he eyed them. "Access is for crew only."_ _

__"Where is Elan?" Cassian growled._ _

__"In his quarters, sir." The lieutenant folded his hands behind his back._ _

__"We don't have time for this." Said Jyn, frustration flowing through her. One soldier wasn't going to stop them. Cassian looked at her and seemed to read her frustration, his lips going thin. He nodded at her, then lashed out at the lieutenant. A forearm to the man's throat brought him to his knees, where Jyn was able to reach out and grab his blaster from it's holster on his thigh. She pointed it at the lieutenant's forehead before he scrambled back to his feet and wheezed and grabbed at his throat._ _

__"Open the door," said Cassian, his voice like gravel. "And get the Commander up here, now. Tell him our location has been compromised."_ _

__The lieutenant, eyes red and watering, complied._ _

__The flight deck was small, with only four crew, who all looked around as the door opened. Jyn lowered her stolen blaster so she wouldn't spook them, and stared out the transparisteel view port at the black darkness of space. Her nerves jittered as she waited for a ship to appear from nowhere._ _

__"We need to jump to hyperspace," Cassian ordered the pilot, " _now_."_ _

__The pilot paled. He was young, as young as Jyn herself she thought, except he actually looked his age. "I can't, sir. Commander Elan hasn't forwarded the next set of coordinates."_ _

__"We don't have time, just calculate a jump and get us away from here before an Imperial fleet shows up." Jyn tried to keep her voice calm, but the pilot's eyes went wide at her words anyway. He looked between her and Cassian and sweat glistened on his brow._ _

__"I can't, I can't override orders!"_ _

__Jyn's heart dropped to the floor as alarms started to blare and red lights flashed. "All of you, back into position, now!" Cassian barked._ _

__"Someone tell me what is going on, now!" Commander Elan bellowed as he entered the room, red-faced and dishevelled and followed by the lieutenant who had been guarding the door._ _

__"A Star Destroyer has just dropped out of hyperspace right above us," reported one of the crew, head flicking from side to side as he monitored controls and pressed buttons. "Our defensive shield is in place."_ _

__Jyn watched out the view port as the pointed end of the wedge-shaped Star Destroyer came into view above them, growing larger and larger as it moved to completely cover their little ship. Her mouth was dry as dust and she could feel her pulse in her throat._ _

__The ship _rocked_ and Jyn stumbled backwards against the bulkhead. Cassian caught himself on the back of the pilot's chair and turned to look at her. He reached his hand out to help her steady herself._ _

___No,_ Jyn thought as she met his gaze and took his hand as another hit forced the ship to sway, _this isn't how it ends, they're not taking something else from me, not without a fight._ It was Scarif again, just the two of them and the rumble of destruction and chaos drowned out by the beating of her heart when she looked at him. _ _

__

__

__"Transport approaching, sir! It looks like they intend to board!"_ _

___Capture and interrogate,_ Jyn thought, and she saw the realisation in Cassian's eyes. _How many of the Rebellion's secrets did he know? And what special treatment would there be for the thieves of Scarif?_ _ _

__

__

__"Private Eckar," Elan ordered, "evasive manoeuvres, use whatever speed this piece of junk has and get us out from under that cannon! Private Doon, make those calculations and jump, _anywhere!_ " _ _

__

__

__Doon's hands were shaking and he kept glancing out the viewport. Any other time Jyn would have envied his innocence but it was possibly going to get them killed at that moment. He muttered an affirmative as he tapped on his screen._ _

__Cassian growled and grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling him up and out of his chair. "Move."_ _

__Jyn watched his eyes flicker across the unfamiliar layout of the console, his brow furrowed for the briefest of moments, and then he was flicking switches like he could have found them blindfolded. He was a good pilot, she remembered that much from her mental haze as they had escaped Jedha, but as the ship rumbled with another hit and the men in the room started to yell _the shield is down, the transport is right on us, I can't escape them._ She had to clutch her kyber crystal and _pray_ that it was enough - __

____And then the stars turned into white streaks of time and space and they were away._ _ _ _

____The alarms stopped, though the consoles beeped incessantly as if no one in the room was aware of the damage to the ship. Everyone was breathing loudly, and the red lights stopped flashing leaving behind only the dim glow of the emergency strips above them. Jyn felt a tremble in her legs as adrenaline faded into relief. Cassian sat still, his breath slowing. He looked up at her, a question in his eyes, _are you alright?__ _ _ _

____She nodded, and reached out to squeeze his shoulder. He placed his hand over hers, and ran his thumb over her knuckles. "We should take care of our spy," He said quietly after a moment, "and check on everyone."_ _ _ _

____"Captain," Commander Elan muttered as Cassian rose. "Do you want to explain what happened?"_ _ _ _

____"Our location was compromised by the spy on board. Jyn made the discovery. There was no time for discussion, or to wait for orders, sir."_ _ _ _

____Elan scrutinised them both with narrowed eyes, face flushed and hair in disarray. Jyn wondered if all the higher-ups in the Alliance were going to look at her like she was a troublesome child, something unwanted, and somehow it made her more keen than ever to be a part of it. "And where is the spy now?" He asked._ _ _ _

____"Incapacitated." Jyn answered. "But not locked up."_ _ _ _

____Elan considered this, then nodded. "Andor, have your droid take care of it. Then I expect a full debrief once the damage to this ship is under control."_ _ _ _

____"Yes, sir." Cassian nodded, and he followed Jyn from the room._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____They stopped in the corridor, once they were alone._ _ _ _

____"Nice work," Jyn said, feeling light as she looked up at him. "Aren't you going to be in trouble for assaulting fellow officers?"_ _ _ _

____He shrugged. "Worth it. And my record was spotless before I met you." He smiled, and Jyn felt flushed at the way his eyes lit up. She grinned back at him. "Where did you leave Needha?"_ _ _ _

____"She's in one of the hoppers, we should get to her before she wakes up and tries anything else."_ _ _ _

____"Agreed." He reached out, and cupped the back of her neck. Jyn leaned into the warmth, let it radiate through her. "We work well, together."_ _ _ _

___"Yeah, we do." _I'm not going anywhere,_ she wanted to say, but her body was crashing from fading adrenaline and she wanted to wait for another moment like this, where they weren't fresh from battle but warm and safe and away from it all. ___

____

____

___Instead she leaned in against him and pressed her forehead to his chest, comforting herself with the thump of his heart. His hand stayed warm on the back of her neck and she felt his lips on the top of her head._ _ _

_Home,_ she thought, and smiled against his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD. This chapter was a struggle, sorry for the delay! Basically when some of you guessed correctly that Needha was the spy I had a little crisis and tried to change the story (cos I thought, wow, I must suck) and of course that meant that it didn't feel right and the words just didn't want to come out. I also spent a week drinking my way around Ireland which although fun isn't conducive to getting any writing done.
> 
> This chapter probably could have used a beta, or at least a bit of time to breathe after finishing but I'm impatient!
> 
> Another lesson learned: always stay a chapter ahead of what you've published otherwise FEAR sets in. 
> 
> Epilogue to follow, and then we're done with my first (complete) multi-chapter fic! Thank you all so much for reading and commenting, you're what's kept me going and I love you all for it <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sweet, fluffy epilogue to tie things up.

"If I stay - what will they want from me?" She had asked Cassian when they were alone, hours later when Needha was locked away under K2's watchful gaze, and the ship was stabilised and Elan had finally banished them back to their own part of the ship. Everyone else had slipped away to their quarters, and the silence and stillness was welcome. "What will they make me do?"

His arm pressed against hers, where they stood looking out the viewport at the end of the corridor. "They'll want to find the best place for you, your skills." She caught his smile from the corner of her eye. "You would put half the Pathfinders to shame." He sighed, a quiet catch of breath in his throat. " _If_ you stay." 

Jyn tangled their fingers together between them. She stole a glance at him, and his dark eyes glistened in the light of hyperspace.

" _If_ I stay," she asked, quiet against him as she curled and splayed her fingers between his, "Where will you be?"

"I can't promise that I will be wherever you are," He raised her hand, ran his thumb across the back of it, and his words made her cheeks hot. "But I will always come back."

"Well, you haven't let me down yet." She meant it. Cassian Andor came back, even when he shouldn't have. His talk of hope, his following her to Scarif, had reignited the old fight in her that Saw had nurtured. Even without him, Jyn didn't want to be alone with her eyes to the ground anymore. "I want to stay." She said it quietly, but confidently. She was sure, for the first time in a long time.

Cassian exhaled as if he had been holding his breath, and she had looked up to see him smiling, almost shyly. 

 

When they had finally landed at the base, it was _chaos_. After two more days of confined spaces and walking the same halls over and over, Jyn felt like she could breath again with her feet on solid ground. Dozens and dozens of people milled around the makeshift hangar, carved in the cliff side: arriving, unloading, shouting. Where Yavin had been green and stifling, Nentar was arid and bare. Many years before it had been mined to ruin for a mineral previously used in fuel, and the cavernous hangar gave way to dozens of tunnels that went deep down into the mountain and further below. 

Discomfort stirred like a creature behind her breastbone - a crowd of strangers in a marketplace was one thing, but everyone here would know who she was. The utter lack of anonymity - of owning the name Jyn Erso for the first time in so many years - was daunting, even more so in reality than in her daydreams on the ship. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that home was not a thing to be feared. She would believe it, eventually. The company would help.

Their group hung back, out of the way of the rush of Rebel soldiers. Cassian had been called away almost instantly, summoned by Elan to accompany him for a debrief with Draven. Needha had been dragged along behind by the rebel crew; hands bowed, hair a fallen mess, and stripped of her blue jewels. Her pale face would have pretty were it not marred by the scowl she wore.

Cassian hadn't been explicit when Jyn had asked him what would happen to the spy, but his eyes had darkened and he had turned away from her when he said, "She'll be interrogated, and she's probably too dangerous to us to ever be released." _Let someone else do it,_ she had thought. _You've given enough._

Beside her Bodhi chewed the tip of his thumb, Baze stood arms crossed and scowling, and Chirrut was serene with his arms folded and head tilted up as if listening for something - or someone. 

"This is... a lot." said Bodhi. "We're really doing this, aren't we?"

Jyn smiled up at him, with more confidence than she really felt. "We are. We'll stick together."

He nodded, still looking around. "It's just that, well - what if I'm not good enough? To be a pilot? In battle, I mean. They hardly have much need for cargo pilots here, and there isn't anything else I know how to do."

She squeezed his arm and nudged against him. "Bodhi, you landed us on Imperial bases twice - if guts is what it takes to fly an X-Wing, you're more than ready."

He looked taken aback, and blinked at her. "Oh." He said, and his face flushed and his mouth contorted as he tried to hold back a grin. "I - thanks."

Jyn felt some of the tension seep out of her shoulders. She could do this.

 

It was late into the fourth day when Cassian finally found Jyn again. Longer than he would have liked, but he kept his promise at least, as he intended to do for as long as he could. He had known she was alright, of course, he had kept tabs on all of them: Bodhi was with the pilots ready to start training, and the Guardians were with the other civilians and refugees. But with debriefs and interrogations and the endless stream of new intel to be analysed he had barely had time to sleep.

With new orders to ship out in the morning, he was finally given some time to slip away. It was supposed to be time to prepare, but finding Jyn had been more pressing. After weeks together, always at each other's side, being separated had him feeling unbalanced, as if his centre of gravity had shifted. It should have worried him - the spy who kept himself apart from the others, who hadn't allowed himself to _need_ anyone else since he was a child - that he now considered his own well-being dependant on hers. 

But watching her where she sat on the edge of an outcropping of rock off to the side of the mouth of the hangar, with her legs swinging over the edge and the pink of the sunset making her skin glow with warmth, he couldn't find it in himself to care. 

The cause, the thing he had been fighting for and devoted his life to, now had a name and she had wrapped herself around his heart. In his darkest moments he had thought he was fighting to avenge what was lost - she reminded him that there was life to be fought for instead.

He made his footsteps loud as he approached, and she smiled when she saw him.

"Sergeant Erso," he said, undeniably proud, and she rolled her eyes at the title. "I hear you'll be joining me in Intelligence."

Jyn smiled as he sat close beside her, arms and hips and thighs touching. He felt grounded again, being close to her. "I suppose I have you to thank for that."

"It was all Draven's idea, actually." He chuckled as her eyebrows raised. "Don't be so shocked, he recognises an asset when he sees one. We'll be spending some time with the Pathfinders, too."

"I met some of them, in my barracks. They like to tell stories about blowing things up, reminded me of Saw." She smiled brightly, no hint of sadness at the memory of him.

Cassian nudged her with his knee. "You'll fit right in." He felt warmth spread through him as she took his hand and tangled her fingers with his. "And you're ok? Everyone is ok?"

She looked up at him, and leaned into his space. She was warm against him and her eyes lit up as she spoke of their friends. He couldn't look away. "Bodhi's happy, in a terrified kind of way. And he might be a little in love with the Jedi, who only has eyes for Chirrut and the Force. Baze has been praying a lot, which Chirrut says is a miracle."

"And you?"

She shrugged, and pressed her forehead to his shoulder. Her thumb ran over his knuckles and he pressed his nose to her soft hair and breathed her in. "It's been a while since I've had so many people around me. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's a good thing." 

"I leave for Onderon in the morning." He said, mouth against her hair. He felt her tense, and her hand squeezed his. "And I could use someone who knows their way around the underground networks there. You're a lot less conspicuous than Kay, and a better liar."

Jyn huffed a short laugh, and her shoulders relaxed. She looked up at him, her smile blinding until she tried to hide it by biting her bottom lip, and nodded. She was beautiful, in the warm light of the sunset beyond them. Cassian indulged himself then, as he so rarely had in his life, and ran his thumb over her lips before leaning in to kiss her softly. Her hand slipped round to the back of his neck, as if to hold him there forever.

"Thank you," she said quietly against his neck when they parted, making him shiver with the warmth of her breath on his skin. "For bringing me home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look I finished it! This was a big goal for me, I get so easily distracted. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos - it all means the absolute world to me <3


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